ermingarden: medieval image of a bird with a tonsured human head and monastic hood (Default)
Ermingarden ([personal profile] ermingarden) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2022-11-07 03:28 pm
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Miss Manners: I have nicer things than my friends. Is it rude to wear them?

Dear Miss Manners: I’ve known my current friends since college — over 25 years. These days, my income is much greater than theirs.

I bought a luxury watch, car and other expensive goods, but I never wear or use them when I’m with my friends, who do not have such things. I’d like to wear my watch, but don’t want to flaunt my income or be a jerk. What is the proper etiquette?


Neither flaunt nor patronize.

Miss Manners is pleased to see that you are in no danger of flaunting your expensive possessions. But hiding them suggests that you hold the questionable assumption that they would induce envy in your friends.

Perhaps your friends are pleased at your success, and are also satisfied with their own achievements. Perhaps they have no desire for conspicuously expensive watches, even if they could afford them, when they can see the time on their telephones. Perhaps they have so little interest in status symbols that they do not recognize yours.

In any case, it is patronizing to assume that your possessions cause them discomfort. The only reason Miss Manners can imagine to keep these items out of sight is that you attach so much importance to them that you can’t help swaggering a bit in their presence.
lilysea: Serious (Default)

[personal profile] lilysea 2022-11-08 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
To be honest, unless there were other markers of wealth (expensive car, expensive house, works as a lawyer/surgeon/CEO) I would probably just assume that someone wearing a Rolex watch was wearing a *fake* Rolex.
frenzy: (Default)

[personal profile] frenzy 2022-11-08 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
I absolutely think youre right. I didnt think about that. The issue isnt one item, its what the whole picture adds up to.
ethelmay: (Default)

[personal profile] ethelmay 2022-11-08 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I just looked at some of the women's models, and at least one of them looks a whole lot like a Timex I used to have. I am nearly certain no one ever thought I was the Rolex type when I wore it. (Both those brand names are starting to look like prescription drug names now that I have stared at them a while. Did you remember to take your Timex? Did you give the dog his Rolex?)