minoanmiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2022-08-17 12:50 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2022-08-17 12:50 pm
Entry tags:
Ask a Manager: I disagree with my partner on how to run our business
Content advisory: business, sex.
My partner and I disagree on how to run our adult business
I am a partner in a social club for “like minded adults.” When my partner and I first started this club, we agreed on “no sex with our members while we were open.” This did not last long with my partner. His girlfriend is our bartender and didn’t know this. Now our club has grown, and now he wants to “interact” with our members while we are open (probably with his girlfriend as well).
I think this is a terrible idea and neither one will back down. Of course, he can use the club on the days/hours we are not open. It has gotten so toxic, that I am seriously thinking of selling my half and leaving. I gave him examples of how management does not eat their meal during the dinner hour; they eat their meals before or after.
Am I wrong in my thinking? This is our job. I explained in other jobs, you don’t “interact” with your members-customers during opening hours. Any advice you can give me I would appreciate.
If he’s having sex with members while you’re open for business, he’s not available to do his job during that time — meaning that you’re left carrying the full burden of keeping things running while he’s otherwise engaged. Then there’s the fact that having sex with an employee raises the potential for abuse of power and legal liability. And then there are the potential conflicts of interest involved; for example, if there’s an issue with a club member that the two of you need to resolve, he’s far less likely to seem impartial (people will need to wonder if he’ll favor those he’s interacted with sexually, or be biased against a member who has declined his advances, and so forth). So it’s a really bad idea, on multiple fronts.
But it also seems like the two of you have fundamentally incompatible ideas about how to run your business. You’ve tried to convince him to change his behavior, and he’s not willing to. At this point it sounds like you need to assume he’s not going to change his thinking, and decide if you want to continue to be part of the business as he’s currently operating it.
My partner and I disagree on how to run our adult business
I am a partner in a social club for “like minded adults.” When my partner and I first started this club, we agreed on “no sex with our members while we were open.” This did not last long with my partner. His girlfriend is our bartender and didn’t know this. Now our club has grown, and now he wants to “interact” with our members while we are open (probably with his girlfriend as well).
I think this is a terrible idea and neither one will back down. Of course, he can use the club on the days/hours we are not open. It has gotten so toxic, that I am seriously thinking of selling my half and leaving. I gave him examples of how management does not eat their meal during the dinner hour; they eat their meals before or after.
Am I wrong in my thinking? This is our job. I explained in other jobs, you don’t “interact” with your members-customers during opening hours. Any advice you can give me I would appreciate.
If he’s having sex with members while you’re open for business, he’s not available to do his job during that time — meaning that you’re left carrying the full burden of keeping things running while he’s otherwise engaged. Then there’s the fact that having sex with an employee raises the potential for abuse of power and legal liability. And then there are the potential conflicts of interest involved; for example, if there’s an issue with a club member that the two of you need to resolve, he’s far less likely to seem impartial (people will need to wonder if he’ll favor those he’s interacted with sexually, or be biased against a member who has declined his advances, and so forth). So it’s a really bad idea, on multiple fronts.
But it also seems like the two of you have fundamentally incompatible ideas about how to run your business. You’ve tried to convince him to change his behavior, and he’s not willing to. At this point it sounds like you need to assume he’s not going to change his thinking, and decide if you want to continue to be part of the business as he’s currently operating it.
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under no circumstances stay in business with him. and I'm not convinced you should keep dating him; the pigheaded insistence that he should bdsm it up with the customers during business hours shows a childish attitude about sexual so-called freedom that honestly makes me very uncomfortable. LW is very explicit that Boyfriend and his girlfriend can strap each other to the saint andrew's cross in the facility to their heart's content when the club is closed, and that should be plenty.
Customers are not food! This isn't hard!
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ohhhh I feel dumb. I read it as "we're poly and dating", lol.
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Also
minoanmiss you're killing me here. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Anyway, my advice is: GET OUT.
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If this is literally the only such place in a reasonable driving distance, it might be a little more ethically complicated, but he still shouldn't be behaving like a customer when he's "on the clock"; you need to figure out a way to mark him as "off the clock" if he wants to use the club's facilities as a member, and you need to make sure you both agree on how he's drawing ethical lines between on and off the clock.
There is a culture in some club-type venues where socializing, sometimes fairly intimately, with customers is part of an employee's (or owner's) *job duties*, but if so, you need to work out what that involves for both of you - and the line needs to go the other side of sex with members, unless you want to deal with the paperwork around employing a sex worker.