minoanmiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
minoanmiss) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
agonyaunt2022-06-19 04:46 am
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2022-06-19 04:46 am
Entry tags:
Dear Prudence: My Mom Called CPS On My Boss
(It's even more complicated than you might think)
I can’t believe she actually did it!
Dear Prudence,
I am a woman in my mid-20s who went online to make some fast cash (outside of my full-time job) and I found it in the form of a “cuck for hire.” I answered a personal ad for a great couple only a few years older than me—“Patti” and “Eric”—and for the past year, I’ve been getting $500 twice a month for an hour or two of work. There have been a few times where they schedule an extra session in a month where they pay $1,000 for “overtime.” Sessions happen like this: I play Eric’s wife, coming home to find him in bed with another woman. I yell, get upset, and then am commanded to sit on a chair facing the bed. He “ties” me to the chair (I wrap my arms around the back, where he wraps some rope around them without tying it), and proceeds to make love in front of me while telling me how much better Patti is than me. He does this solely by praising her (“she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, she’s the best I ever felt”). At no point am I insulted, demeaned, or degraded. I’m not involved physically, and I don’t get aroused.
Advertisement
It’s weird, I know, and I can understand why it would creep people out. It works for us, it’s easy money, and I genuinely enjoy Patti and Eric! They’re all-around good people. I thought there would be an issue when my sister drunkenly spilled the beans to my mother, but my mom, while not particularly cool with it, accepted it. I don’t get graphic, but I have talked about them to my family the same way I talk about any coworkers. My niece’s birthday party was over the weekend, and when complimented on my gift for her, I stated Patti had recommended it because their kids love it.
Fast forward to Wednesday morning: At my full-time job in a small family-owned business, the owner was being questioned by police for allegations of sexual abuse against their children. We were all shocked but no more than she was. It was dropped quickly when she confirmed she has a wife, and the allegations were made against a mother and a father. When I told my sister about it, later on, she burst out “I can’t believe she actually did it!”
Prudie, my mother called CPS on Eric and Patti for sexual abuse after being “horrified” to learn they have children! She didn’t know their names, only that they were “my bosses.” Apparently having someone watch you make love when you’re childless is OK, but when you have kids, it turns you into a pervert! Their kids are never home during these sessions, and I’ve never met better parents than Eric and Patti. There is absolutely no basis for these claims, my boss is confused and scared someone will come take her kids, and I’m sick with my mother! What do I do? Do I tell my boss not to worry, that it was a case of mistaken identity and my mother meddling? Do I warn Patti and Eric? Do I contact the police or CPS myself, or wait in case they question me? Am I in legal trouble for prostitution, and should avoid authorities at all costs?
Advertisement
—Mother’s Monstrous Meddling
Dear Mother’s Monstrous Meddling,
As a parent with a same-sex partner, your boss is likely on high alert for any insinuation that there’s anything untoward happening in her home, especially in this climate. Same-sex couples with kids are frequently targeted by malicious false reporting to CPS and it can tie a family up for years and traumatize the kids. She’s in a very precarious position, even though CPS is no longer investigating her. The threat alone is probably unbearable. So, you should let her know that it was a case of mistaken identity as soon as you can and assure her that there is no report targeting her. It will be a cold comfort, but it may take some of the edge off.
Because this has gotten so out of hand, you may want to warn Patti and Eric as well. It doesn’t seem like they’re in danger as there’s no way for your mother to know who they are. But they need to know as it may affect how they proceed with your working relationship. They may decide that continuing to meet is not a good idea on the off-chance that your mother is able to put more pieces together.
I’m not sure that contacting the authorities is going to help anyone in this situation. It’s likely to make life complicated for you and possibly more people. However, you do need to have a conversation with your mother about trust and boundaries. This is more than meddling. The fact that she didn’t tell you about her plan to contact CPS is troublesome. She surely believes that she did the right thing and I’d be shocked if you came out of this conversation seeing eye-to-eye. But you need to know if you’re safe sharing parts of your life with her.
Lastly, I’d strongly encourage you to reevaluate whether you want to talk about this part of your work life with your family. They’re not handling this information well and as much as you may want to be open, you have to ask yourself whether it does more harm than good.
I can’t believe she actually did it!
Dear Prudence,
I am a woman in my mid-20s who went online to make some fast cash (outside of my full-time job) and I found it in the form of a “cuck for hire.” I answered a personal ad for a great couple only a few years older than me—“Patti” and “Eric”—and for the past year, I’ve been getting $500 twice a month for an hour or two of work. There have been a few times where they schedule an extra session in a month where they pay $1,000 for “overtime.” Sessions happen like this: I play Eric’s wife, coming home to find him in bed with another woman. I yell, get upset, and then am commanded to sit on a chair facing the bed. He “ties” me to the chair (I wrap my arms around the back, where he wraps some rope around them without tying it), and proceeds to make love in front of me while telling me how much better Patti is than me. He does this solely by praising her (“she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, she’s the best I ever felt”). At no point am I insulted, demeaned, or degraded. I’m not involved physically, and I don’t get aroused.
Advertisement
It’s weird, I know, and I can understand why it would creep people out. It works for us, it’s easy money, and I genuinely enjoy Patti and Eric! They’re all-around good people. I thought there would be an issue when my sister drunkenly spilled the beans to my mother, but my mom, while not particularly cool with it, accepted it. I don’t get graphic, but I have talked about them to my family the same way I talk about any coworkers. My niece’s birthday party was over the weekend, and when complimented on my gift for her, I stated Patti had recommended it because their kids love it.
Fast forward to Wednesday morning: At my full-time job in a small family-owned business, the owner was being questioned by police for allegations of sexual abuse against their children. We were all shocked but no more than she was. It was dropped quickly when she confirmed she has a wife, and the allegations were made against a mother and a father. When I told my sister about it, later on, she burst out “I can’t believe she actually did it!”
Prudie, my mother called CPS on Eric and Patti for sexual abuse after being “horrified” to learn they have children! She didn’t know their names, only that they were “my bosses.” Apparently having someone watch you make love when you’re childless is OK, but when you have kids, it turns you into a pervert! Their kids are never home during these sessions, and I’ve never met better parents than Eric and Patti. There is absolutely no basis for these claims, my boss is confused and scared someone will come take her kids, and I’m sick with my mother! What do I do? Do I tell my boss not to worry, that it was a case of mistaken identity and my mother meddling? Do I warn Patti and Eric? Do I contact the police or CPS myself, or wait in case they question me? Am I in legal trouble for prostitution, and should avoid authorities at all costs?
Advertisement
—Mother’s Monstrous Meddling
Dear Mother’s Monstrous Meddling,
As a parent with a same-sex partner, your boss is likely on high alert for any insinuation that there’s anything untoward happening in her home, especially in this climate. Same-sex couples with kids are frequently targeted by malicious false reporting to CPS and it can tie a family up for years and traumatize the kids. She’s in a very precarious position, even though CPS is no longer investigating her. The threat alone is probably unbearable. So, you should let her know that it was a case of mistaken identity as soon as you can and assure her that there is no report targeting her. It will be a cold comfort, but it may take some of the edge off.
Because this has gotten so out of hand, you may want to warn Patti and Eric as well. It doesn’t seem like they’re in danger as there’s no way for your mother to know who they are. But they need to know as it may affect how they proceed with your working relationship. They may decide that continuing to meet is not a good idea on the off-chance that your mother is able to put more pieces together.
I’m not sure that contacting the authorities is going to help anyone in this situation. It’s likely to make life complicated for you and possibly more people. However, you do need to have a conversation with your mother about trust and boundaries. This is more than meddling. The fact that she didn’t tell you about her plan to contact CPS is troublesome. She surely believes that she did the right thing and I’d be shocked if you came out of this conversation seeing eye-to-eye. But you need to know if you’re safe sharing parts of your life with her.
Lastly, I’d strongly encourage you to reevaluate whether you want to talk about this part of your work life with your family. They’re not handling this information well and as much as you may want to be open, you have to ask yourself whether it does more harm than good.
no subject
"Drunkenly spilling" sounds like they believe the sister would know better than to tell the mom if sober, but that also seems like... if your sister can be trusted sober, but not drunk, to keep secrets from your mom, who holds views THIS weird and is the type of person who might take this kind of action... then you probably should not tell your sister secrets that aren't safe from your mom? I know the answer addressed this at the end and the horses have already escaped from the barn etc etc, but I'm just struggling to understand what LW was thinking/how they got in this situation to begin with. I'm relatively certain many people would never even consider sharing information of sexual or kinky nature with their family, even if nobody in their family has such puritanical attitudes.
Also given how awful it was, it seems like a serious reassessment of the relationship with her is in order more broadly speaking.
"dumb as a box of rocks" type specimen
She should locate a sex-business-friendly lawyer and talk to them about mitigating the risks to everyone else.
She should NOT talk to her mother (or her sister) about it. At all. Ever. Freeze the subject entirely if it comes up. She is sure to let more identifying information out if she discusses it with either of them.
And she needs to look up "discretion" in the dictionary and never, ever discuss anything about anyone's private life with her family again.
Re: "dumb as a box of rocks" type specimen
omg all of this.
Re: "dumb as a box of rocks" type specimen
Re: "dumb as a box of rocks" type specimen
Re: "dumb as a box of rocks" type specimen
Her mother's reaction is a nuclear mushroom of horrible ridiculousness, but it couldn't've happened if LW knew how to keep her mouth shut.
no subject
Welp, this is deep in "cut off mom and sister entirely for at least a couple of years" territory for me.