Ask a manager: Writing erotic fiction when you work with kids in your day job

[minoanmiss]

I recently have come across the idea of writing and selling erotic fiction. Apparently, it’s the highest selling genre on digital platforms like kindle for Amazon and the passive income builds up. I’d like to supplement my meager income from my 9-5 and prepare to transition from my current field, which I fell into, to my desired field (writing/more creative pursuits). However, I’m not sure if this is a good idea considering I work with children (think a clinic setting but providing a direct support service). I’d use a pen name but I’m still worried about it. Would you err on the side of caution here and just not do it?

If you use a pen name and are careful about never discussing it with anyone who has a connection to your day job, I’d say the risk is very low. Don’t underestimate the importance of that second factor though; make sure you don’t slip up and mention it to someone who could mention it to someone else.

That said, people are really weird about the private lives of adults who work with kids. So if any readers who work with kids want to present a different viewpoint in the comments, please do!

Comments

[ashbet]

The pen name is crucial.

Writing text is less stigmatized than sex work/lingerie modeling/OnlyFans/etc., but it’s still a legitimate concern.

Definitely don’t mention it to anyone who has a connection to your workplace.

And it SUCKS that things are this way, I am 1000% not okay with it, but that’s the way things are in the US right now :/

[bikergeek]

All of this. It pains me to think that people who work with kids have to worry about this.

[ioplokon]

Yeah I'd say pen name but also think about how you'll do publicity/self-promotion without crossing over into your day job. Bc I'm sure some of it is gaming the algorithm to be discoverable, but building a following can't hurt there. However, it's hard to be a Relatable Cool Romance Author and also Not Exist.

I'd probably say get social media under your government name & make it aggressively boring so you can have your nom de plume as separate accounts just for promoting your writing & making industry connections.

[azurelunatic]

And I would additionally advise to not mention that you write, at all, to anyone work-adjacent. If you do mention it by accident, be prepared with a boring clarification, like "mostly I journal". (This note brought to you by EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER asking "oh, so what do you write?" when you mention it, second follow-up being "can I read it".)

[xenacryst]

I mean, all of this is fine advice, but I'll also offer a counterexample: my kid has a couple of friends from elementary whose mother is currently in school for a higher degree in education. She's fat, queer, poly, has written, published, edited, and publicly read erotica, and she's really not in the closet about any of that. Her research is at the intersection of gender, education, and sexuality. She teaches English to non-native speakers. She takes no shit, and, as far as I'm aware, really hasn't gotten much shit, at least about her past. Her students love her.

But I do note: this is the SF Bay Area where my kid's wholesome circus coaches perform burlesque regularly, for one, and it does take the sort of personality that will look you in the eye with a cold steel gaze and make you think very hard about what it is you're actually doing if you think you're going to shame them for their past.