minoanmiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2022-03-23 05:34 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2022-03-23 05:34 pm
Entry tags:
Ask a Manager: Asking a New Hire To Go By Her Last Name
[link goes to inc.com, second link to AAM site]
2. Asking a new hire to go by her last name.
My name is ... let's say Kara. And I recently hired someone who is also named Kara. During the interview process, we discussed the potential issues with us being mixed up due to the nature of our positions and the fact that she is reporting to me.
She agreed it would be confusing, and said she'd be happy to go by her last name, Miller. I have been introducing her as Miller to everyone, but she has been introducing herself to people as Kara. I don't want to be a jerk, but she had agreed during the interview process to go by Miller, and I feel embarrassed at how this makes me look to the other folks who report to me, as if I forced her to go by another name, when really it was mutually agreed upon ... or so I thought.
We have other folks in our organization who go by their last names and it has never been an issue before, so there is a precedent for this. How do I broach this with her without being a jerk? I can't imagine what a nightmare it will be to have two Karas reporting to each other in our line of work.
Green responds:
Is it really going to be such a nightmare? It's incredibly common for offices to have two people with the same first name working closely together. Usually people solve it by using last initials and referring to Kara M. and Kara W. or something similar to that.
If she doesn't want to go by her last name (and I realize she said she'd be OK with it, but it sounds like she might not really want to), you shouldn't force her to do it; it's not fair for her not to be able to use her name just because you were there first.
I'd talk to her and say something like this: "Hey, I know we'd talked earlier about you going by Miller to avoid confusion. I've noticed you're using Kara -- do you prefer that? If so, let's start using Kara S. and Kara W. so that it's clear who's who." And then if you're talking to someone who doesn't know the importance of including the initial, say something like, "When you follow up, make sure to ask for Kara Williams since there are two Karas here." Really, this is what people do every day in loads of offices and it's not a problem.
2. Asking a new hire to go by her last name.
My name is ... let's say Kara. And I recently hired someone who is also named Kara. During the interview process, we discussed the potential issues with us being mixed up due to the nature of our positions and the fact that she is reporting to me.
She agreed it would be confusing, and said she'd be happy to go by her last name, Miller. I have been introducing her as Miller to everyone, but she has been introducing herself to people as Kara. I don't want to be a jerk, but she had agreed during the interview process to go by Miller, and I feel embarrassed at how this makes me look to the other folks who report to me, as if I forced her to go by another name, when really it was mutually agreed upon ... or so I thought.
We have other folks in our organization who go by their last names and it has never been an issue before, so there is a precedent for this. How do I broach this with her without being a jerk? I can't imagine what a nightmare it will be to have two Karas reporting to each other in our line of work.
Green responds:
Is it really going to be such a nightmare? It's incredibly common for offices to have two people with the same first name working closely together. Usually people solve it by using last initials and referring to Kara M. and Kara W. or something similar to that.
If she doesn't want to go by her last name (and I realize she said she'd be OK with it, but it sounds like she might not really want to), you shouldn't force her to do it; it's not fair for her not to be able to use her name just because you were there first.
I'd talk to her and say something like this: "Hey, I know we'd talked earlier about you going by Miller to avoid confusion. I've noticed you're using Kara -- do you prefer that? If so, let's start using Kara S. and Kara W. so that it's clear who's who." And then if you're talking to someone who doesn't know the importance of including the initial, say something like, "When you follow up, make sure to ask for Kara Williams since there are two Karas here." Really, this is what people do every day in loads of offices and it's not a problem.
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