Ask a Manager: Men With Bare Chests At Work

[minoanmiss]

[n.b. IMO the title is not a fair representation of the situation.]



I have an “is this weird or is this COVID?” question. My employer held a vaccine and booster clinic recently, by appointment only. The setup was like most ones I think we’re all used to in this pandemic era: booths that have partitions but are not private and a large observation area for post-shot folks. In order to receive his shot, one fellow untucked and entirely unbuttoned his oxford shirt. He did not have an undershirt on. Just his nips to the wind. And then he sat there chatting for several minutes before getting his shot. I didn’t think I was going to get Chippendales with my morning mRNA, so I was admittedly a little startled. Is… this weird? Should he have worn an undershirt? Or am I being overly prude and this is this just what we should grow to expect when we get vaccines at work?

(P.S. It’s entirely possible he forgot he had an appointment and was just leaning into it by pretending it wasn’t weird to sit in the middle of a conference room dressed like Magic Mike.)

Nah, it’s weird! (Can I do a whole week where I just issue verdicts of weird/not weird? That sounds very relaxing.)

Maybe his shirt was so tight that it was hard to roll up the sleeve enough to expose his upper arm. Although … some men feel VERY FREE about taking their shirts off and don’t think it’s a big deal, even in normally buttoned-up environments like work. He may be one of them.

I like to think he went home and told his partner, “I did this weird thing at work today and I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Comments

[ambyr]

I think Alison missed the mark on that one, and I am glad commentators are calling the LW out on her weird sexualization/objectification of her coworker. If anyone's in the wrong here it's the company for not providing more privacy for people getting shots. (Signed, a person who also got a COVID booster while bare-chested, happily with no one in view except the pharmacist tech.)

[minoanmiss]

Word. (But/and I had to rant and wave my arms a bit, ahaha)

[caramarie]

Yeah, I have had to take my top off to have shots given at work, because I forgot I was having them – but my work has them done in individual rooms were the windows get covered so no-one else can actually see! I would be mortified if it were a partition set up and I suddenly realised I couldn't just roll up my sleeve.

But I also don't think it's a big deal that a guy wouldn't feel the same way and, like, the correct response as an observer imo is to go 'well this is slightly awkward' internally, and then pretend you haven't seen!

[jadelennox]

If anyone's in the wrong here it's t he company for not providing more privacy for people getting shots.

This times 1000. The vax a medical procedure, there was nothing wrong with him unbuttoning his shirt for it! Also, it's a medical procedure, there should have been privacy!

None of my shots had privacy, but one was in a tiny CVS, and the other two were in a massive convention center staffed by the Navy. Most importantly, neither was in front of my coworkers.

If you set it up for employees, put up a white board or a sheet on a string or something.

In which I am judgy about judginess

[minoanmiss]

One of the things that I am personally really judgy about is what I consider excessive judginess. Which is hilarious, I know.

My original take on this is that LW and Alison were being a bit prudish -- the guy wasn't whirling his shirt over his head or yelling "look at my nips" or regularly spending afternoons bare-chested. In order to get a one-time vaccination he got out of his shirt a few minutes earlier than the nurse was ready to give him the shot. I don't see why it's so awful to have a bit of a mismatch in timing, but whatever.

But then one of the regular AAM sexists said "WoUlD yOu CoMpArE a FEEEEEMALE CoWoRkEr to a STRIPPER, HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?" and I saw red, because two things were simultaneously true:

1) it really wasn't fair to compare this guy to a stripper. Not All Nudity Is Sexual.
2) Local Sexist was going to take this incidence of supposed "reverse sexism" and run with it AS FAR AS POSSIBLE, quite likely hurting women offline if they can manage it.

In conclusion, the US is a fucking prudish country sometimes.

Re: In which I am judgy about judginess

[heavenscalyx]

1a) But also, the Chippendales are not comparable to women strippers in any way, given the stigma of the latter and the weird glorification (I'm GenX so remember the 1980s and all the merch available in Spencers Gifts and other stores) of the Chippendales. Just like Scott Brown's posing nude didn't torpedo his ability to get into the US Senate (The Centerfold From Massachusetts) vs what nude photos would do to the career of a woman doing the same in the US.

Re: In which I am judgy about judginess

[lemonsharks]

Hell, cis male strippers in general get more respect generally than woman and AFAB strippers of any sort.

[lemonsharks]

also a woman in the same situation probably would have been wearing a bra, and probably would have been doing her very best to face away from the room and tent herself with her shirt. Because __.

Personally, I think the dude did nothing wrong and the LW and Alison both need to step off. Sometimes (rarely) there IS a valid reason to be half naked at work.

This is also part of why I want to get pasties that look like nipples and sew myself a minoan tits out dress for legal walking around nonsexually in the summer. Not the winter. We have lows of 10F/-12C this week is and no pasty could withstand that.

[minoanmiss]

Damn I wish I knew how to make dress patterns. You in a Minoan Mock-Tits-Out dress would be AWESOMETASTIC.

[lemonsharks]

Just me and my tits, an entire bottle of SPF∞ and explaining to a partner how I got THOSE very specific and unique tan lines around my areolas

[purlewe]

At my work there are no partitions when they do vaccines. And if you cannot roll up your sleeve you cannot get your shot. It is "encouraged" that you wear a short sleeve shirt that day UNDER a longer sleeved shirt or sweater you can take off bc.. OF COURSE the vax is always in the late fall and it is ding dang cold outside.

[jadelennox]

cripes would it kill somebody in HR to bring in a an old tarp and hang it from the ceiling?

[azurelunatic]

I also have forgotten to wear a top that easily exposed my arm muscles on an at-work vaccination day! I proceeded to very efficiently get the arm out of my cardigan and out of the shirt and only afterwards processed the fact that the rest of the people also getting their vaccines could have gotten a pretty good look at my (extremely utilitarian and same color as the rest of my clothing) bra.

[tielan]

It's weird and it's COVID? But also, not all nudity is sexual, and some people are more comfortable with their bodies than other people are with seeing them.

Like, I'd probably be "blink blink, righto then", because yeah, it would not quite be what I'd expect in the office, but it's not like he's coming in shirtless and walking around... Why make such a kerfuffle about it?

[goljerp]

A bit off-topic, but I have a friend with MS whose attitude towards the covid vax was "I need my arms fully functional, since my legs aren't". She talked to her Dr., and got her shots in her leg (thigh?) Yes, she wore a loose skirt...

To get more on-topic, I think the cow orker was fine. Men's "dress" shirts, in my experience, usually don't easily roll up much past the bicep -- and the covid shot is usually higher than that.

[ioplokon]

Like. Idk. It's a bit odd but like. The reason he had his shirt off is evident? I've never worn a dress shirt you could roll up over the bicep. And a lot of young guys don't really wear undershirts.

[pensnest]

Gosh. I hope the letter writer wore her pearls to work, that she might clutch them.

[shirou]

I get vaccinations at work, and I always have to take off my button-up shirt. They give those shots almost in the shoulder! Of course the sleeve doesn't roll up that far. I do wear a t-shirt, but I don't think it's a big deal if another guy doesn't.