Dear Abby: Relationship finances, sorta

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I each own our homes and have about the same mortgage payment. She ends up staying with me most of the time because I live closer to where we both work.

I recently found out that she has been Airbnbing her condo a lot of the weekends when she stays with me. I feel taken advantage of even though it doesn't really affect me whether her place is empty or she's getting rent.

What is the etiquette on such an arrangement? Should I be getting a cut? I feel if I told her I wanted to stay at her place and rent out mine, she would want some of the money. -- WEEKEND ROOMIES

DEAR WEEKEND ROOMIES: There is no rule of etiquette governing whether you're entitled to some of the income she receives from renting out her place while she's visiting you. Discuss this with your entrepreneurial girlfriend and see how she feels about sharing the wealth. Her reaction will give insight into her character.

Comments

[malnpudl]

Hmmm...my immediate reaction was that LW's use of "girlfriend" -- and the lack of any previous discussion or negotiation -- settled the whole question. At present it's a non-issue. A "girlfriend" is not a business partner. Marriage is a business partnership, legally at very least and most often also in practice. If they were married, it'd be an issue that LW has the right to raise as financial decisions within marriage should be mutual and agreed upon in advance. But their relationship at present is not such that LW has financial rights or claims. LW can raise the issue and ask, but LW is not entitled to anything.

It may be relevant that I am 57 and a straight cis-woman who's lived and negotiated through any number of relationships, married and not, cohabiting and not.