Ermingarden (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ermingarden) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
agonyaunt2021-11-18 09:21 am
ermingarden) wrote in agonyaunt2021-11-18 09:21 am
Ask Amy: Is There Someone Else?
Dear Amy: I’ve been off and on with a guy for 21 years. I love him, but I’ve never met his family or friends. I’m never invited to his home, but he comes to mine (off and on).
I’ve tried to break it off with him several times.
I’m getting older (we are both 54), and he still does not want to commit. When I don’t hear from him, it hurts me to think he’s with someone else. I’m sure he has someone else in his life.
I think sometimes I’m losing my mind, especially when I’m with him. How do I get over him and move on? –Heartbroken
Heartbroken: You can be sure that this man has other people — probably several other people (including, possibly, wives and children).
I’m so sorry you are locked into this unhealthy relationship. It obviously makes you miserable.
You already know what you need to do, and that is to leave it completely. Break up, cut off and block all contact.
This will be like giving up nicotine or alcohol. You should ask a close friend or family member to help you through this, to hold your hand and offer you support during those times when you’re feeling down. Counseling would also help.
You were trained to tolerate this by a manipulator. In order to take your power back, you will have to retrain yourself to get away, and stay away.
I’ve tried to break it off with him several times.
I’m getting older (we are both 54), and he still does not want to commit. When I don’t hear from him, it hurts me to think he’s with someone else. I’m sure he has someone else in his life.
I think sometimes I’m losing my mind, especially when I’m with him. How do I get over him and move on? –Heartbroken
Heartbroken: You can be sure that this man has other people — probably several other people (including, possibly, wives and children).
I’m so sorry you are locked into this unhealthy relationship. It obviously makes you miserable.
You already know what you need to do, and that is to leave it completely. Break up, cut off and block all contact.
This will be like giving up nicotine or alcohol. You should ask a close friend or family member to help you through this, to hold your hand and offer you support during those times when you’re feeling down. Counseling would also help.
You were trained to tolerate this by a manipulator. In order to take your power back, you will have to retrain yourself to get away, and stay away.