(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I didn’t tell my parents when I broke up with the girl I had been seeing for nearly two years. It was a friendly breakup, but I knew my parents, especially my mom, really liked her, and hoped we would stay together, and maybe even get married.

My mom called me last night and tore into me because she had run into my ex at the mall, and that is how she found out we weren’t together anymore. Not only is my mom disappointed, but she kept telling me how embarrassing it was to find out this way, by asking my ex when she and I would be coming over for dinner again.

Now I feel like a jerk, but I am also a grown man and do not think I have to tell my mommy every detail of my life. Am I wrong here? --- MY OWN BUSINESS

DEAR MY OWN BUSINESS: Yes, as an adult you’re entitled, and expected, to run your own life. But you also have to keep in mind that some aspects of your life spill over into other people’s as well. Not only was it awkward for your mom, but I’m betting it was no picnic for your ex-girlfriend either.

By keeping the breakup from your parents, you really accomplished nothing, because if your concern was upsetting your mom with unwelcome news, not only did she still hear it, but had the extra bonus of being put on the spot in a mutually unpleasant situation with your ex.

The takeaway here is that it’s generally better to break difficult news personally, and in a timely fashion.

https://www.uexpress.com/life/ask-someone-elses-mom/2021/11/12

Comments

[likeaduck]

How long after the breakup did this happen? I'm going to assume "nearly two years" is the length of the relationship, not the time since the breakup, since after that long probably mom wouldn't be expecting dinner anytime soon. So: was it two weeks, and despite the friendly breakup you're still licking your wounds and don't want to talk about it? Or was it three months and when your mom asked *you* about dinner/ex-gf you were vague or avoided giving relevant info? One of those is an awkward and unfortunate coincidence, and one is letting an inevitable timebomb of social awkwardness run down its clock.