Dear Abby: marriage and finances

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married three years. It has been rocky since year two. She's a great mother to our kids, especially the one who is medically challenged. We have broken up twice so far, and are now back together. However, because of my job, we live in different states.

Bottom line: I'm no longer sure this is the right relationship for me. She goes to school full time while I work a ton of overtime to support two households. We hardly see or spend time with each other. She has said she would rather me work and not see me so that everything gets paid. I feel she's more about the money than the marriage. What do you think? -- UNHAPPILY MARRIED IN BALTIMORE

DEAR UNHAPPILY: You and your wife both appear to be carrying a heavy load. For the sake of your children, it would be nice if your marriage could be resuscitated. However, not every marriage can be -- and the arrangement you have now is clearly not working for you.

If your wife actually feels that she would rather not see you so that everything gets paid, then I think she has made her feelings clear. The marriage no longer exists; it's a financial arrangement. For that, you both have my sympathy.

Comments

[cereta]

Oh, yes. I have ranted about that before. You can feed your children love, but you also need to feed them food. And a woman who grew up with wealthy parents and slid into a relatively cushy job, shouldn't be telling a family that is clearly on the edge that love can pay the mortgage.

[likeaduck]

I think I've heard you rant about it before, but gosh, she just keeps doing it.