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agonyaunt2020-08-10 12:04 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2020-08-10 12:04 pm
Entry tags:
Ask A Manager: Someone sent our company revenge porn of our employee
A reader writes:
I’m in a senior position for a large public organization, and deal with correspondence and sensitive HR issues. Today our office received an email from a throwaway/burner address about a young, relatively junior female member of staff. It contained screenshots of her on an app that allows you to make money by livestreaming (I’m old and didn’t know what the app was, but have Googled it and it seems pretty popular as a dating app). The screenshots are racy but not obscene (e.g., bending over in short shorts), and from my perspective perfectly within what you’d expect on a dating app. The email said she mentioned our organization by name, and complained that we didn’t pay enough so she was soliciting donations. It also alluded to nude photos.
I don’t care what employees do in their spare time and think the email is clearly aimed at embarrassing her, and I’m planning to file it (as we do all correspondence) without responding. However, I’m not sure whether to say something to the employee. I’m not sure if it would be more reassuring to hear that we received it but won’t be doing anything about it, or more embarrassing. I’m mostly concerned with supporting her as best we can. I don’t feel that concerned about her allegedly mentioning our organization by name (we employ more than 1,000 people and our salary bands are all publicly posted), although would also welcome thoughts on that too.
Even though it might feel easier everyone if you ignored it and never mentioned it to her — saving you both the embarrassment of the conversation — I do think you need to let her know about it.
She needs to know because someone is trying to harm her, and that’s not info you can rightly keep from her. For all we know, she could be experiencing other harassing or stalking behavior from someone and needs to know they’ve escalated to trying to jeopardize her employment. She could have been told by police or a lawyer to document what’s happening. This even could be the piece that gets police to take action on her behalf. Or even if none of that’s happening, she still needs to know her photos and videos are being used in this way. I understand you’re trying to protect her from awkwardness, but she deserves to know about it for her own safety.
As with this letter last year from someone who received screenshots about an employee’s out-of-work behavior (and like you, didn’t care what the employee did outside of work), your employee needs to know because she’s the one who’s in the best position to decide if this is a violation that she wants to act on, file away in case it’s something she needs to act on later, or ignore.
And yeah, it’ll be an awkward conversation! But stress that it’s not something that will affect her at work in any way and that you’re not looking for any explanation, but want her to know so she can protect herself. You should also ask if there’s anything she’d like the company to do to ensure she feels safe at work.
As for her supposedly naming the organization while soliciting donations because she’s not being paid enough … if she really did that and did it in a public profile on an app (as opposed to something like one-on-one conversation in private), it’s not cool and she shouldn’t — but given the way you’ve been informed, I would put no weight on it at all. The main thing is that she’s been violated, and your focus should be on helping her feel and stay safe.
Speaking of which, if you can avoid filing that email like you do other correspondence, please do. She shouldn’t have to have those photos and videos on file with her employer, where someone else could come across them in the future. (She may need a copy herself in case of current or future action, but I’m quite sure she’d feel better if it’s not stored for all time in your files.)
I’m in a senior position for a large public organization, and deal with correspondence and sensitive HR issues. Today our office received an email from a throwaway/burner address about a young, relatively junior female member of staff. It contained screenshots of her on an app that allows you to make money by livestreaming (I’m old and didn’t know what the app was, but have Googled it and it seems pretty popular as a dating app). The screenshots are racy but not obscene (e.g., bending over in short shorts), and from my perspective perfectly within what you’d expect on a dating app. The email said she mentioned our organization by name, and complained that we didn’t pay enough so she was soliciting donations. It also alluded to nude photos.
I don’t care what employees do in their spare time and think the email is clearly aimed at embarrassing her, and I’m planning to file it (as we do all correspondence) without responding. However, I’m not sure whether to say something to the employee. I’m not sure if it would be more reassuring to hear that we received it but won’t be doing anything about it, or more embarrassing. I’m mostly concerned with supporting her as best we can. I don’t feel that concerned about her allegedly mentioning our organization by name (we employ more than 1,000 people and our salary bands are all publicly posted), although would also welcome thoughts on that too.
Even though it might feel easier everyone if you ignored it and never mentioned it to her — saving you both the embarrassment of the conversation — I do think you need to let her know about it.
She needs to know because someone is trying to harm her, and that’s not info you can rightly keep from her. For all we know, she could be experiencing other harassing or stalking behavior from someone and needs to know they’ve escalated to trying to jeopardize her employment. She could have been told by police or a lawyer to document what’s happening. This even could be the piece that gets police to take action on her behalf. Or even if none of that’s happening, she still needs to know her photos and videos are being used in this way. I understand you’re trying to protect her from awkwardness, but she deserves to know about it for her own safety.
As with this letter last year from someone who received screenshots about an employee’s out-of-work behavior (and like you, didn’t care what the employee did outside of work), your employee needs to know because she’s the one who’s in the best position to decide if this is a violation that she wants to act on, file away in case it’s something she needs to act on later, or ignore.
And yeah, it’ll be an awkward conversation! But stress that it’s not something that will affect her at work in any way and that you’re not looking for any explanation, but want her to know so she can protect herself. You should also ask if there’s anything she’d like the company to do to ensure she feels safe at work.
As for her supposedly naming the organization while soliciting donations because she’s not being paid enough … if she really did that and did it in a public profile on an app (as opposed to something like one-on-one conversation in private), it’s not cool and she shouldn’t — but given the way you’ve been informed, I would put no weight on it at all. The main thing is that she’s been violated, and your focus should be on helping her feel and stay safe.
Speaking of which, if you can avoid filing that email like you do other correspondence, please do. She shouldn’t have to have those photos and videos on file with her employer, where someone else could come across them in the future. (She may need a copy herself in case of current or future action, but I’m quite sure she’d feel better if it’s not stored for all time in your files.)
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The employee NEEDS to know.
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