minoanmiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2020-04-28 01:41 am
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2020-04-28 01:41 am
Entry tags:
Ask a Manager: HR told me to cover up my scars
(Cut-tagged for discussion of self-harm, among other reasons)
Dear Ask a Manager,
I work in a laboratory where everyone wears lab coats. We each have a desk outside of the lab where we sit to write our reports and read emails. The dress code is very lax, most people wear t-shirts everyday. To give you an idea of the culture, my boss regularly wears a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt with a curse word on the back.
I’ve been working there for five years now. A few months ago, “Brandy” started at our office. She is about the same level as me in the company structure. She recently went to our HR person and complained that I should not be allowed to wear short-sleeved shirts. Her rationale was that she didn’t want to have to see my scars. I used to have issues with depression and I would cut my arms, so I have quite a few scars on them. Since this was when I was a teenager, and I am in my 40’s now, the scars are pretty faded at this point. HR has told me that I need to wear long sleeves at all times since this makes her uncomfortable. I have read before that companies can mandate that one person has to wear something different from everyone else, but is this different because these scars are the result of a, now resolved admittedly, medical issue?
This is BS, and your HR is terrible. You don’t tell someone to cover up because someone else is uncomfortable; this is Brandy’s issue, not yours. Would your HR department also tell women to wear longer skirts because a man complained he was uncomfortable seeing their legs? Or, uh, this?
Legally … it’s pretty iffy. You can’t treat people differently because of a disability or the perception that they’re disabled. I can’t say for sure whether scars from depression years ago would trigger that protection, but no sensible HR person should care enough to argue it. I’d go back to HR and tell them you’re sure the company is not truly telling someone they need to cover up the signs of a former medical condition, and you will be continuing to follow the same dress code as everyone else. Loop in your boss too, as long as she’s not a similar disaster.
Dear Ask a Manager,
I work in a laboratory where everyone wears lab coats. We each have a desk outside of the lab where we sit to write our reports and read emails. The dress code is very lax, most people wear t-shirts everyday. To give you an idea of the culture, my boss regularly wears a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt with a curse word on the back.
I’ve been working there for five years now. A few months ago, “Brandy” started at our office. She is about the same level as me in the company structure. She recently went to our HR person and complained that I should not be allowed to wear short-sleeved shirts. Her rationale was that she didn’t want to have to see my scars. I used to have issues with depression and I would cut my arms, so I have quite a few scars on them. Since this was when I was a teenager, and I am in my 40’s now, the scars are pretty faded at this point. HR has told me that I need to wear long sleeves at all times since this makes her uncomfortable. I have read before that companies can mandate that one person has to wear something different from everyone else, but is this different because these scars are the result of a, now resolved admittedly, medical issue?
This is BS, and your HR is terrible. You don’t tell someone to cover up because someone else is uncomfortable; this is Brandy’s issue, not yours. Would your HR department also tell women to wear longer skirts because a man complained he was uncomfortable seeing their legs? Or, uh, this?
Legally … it’s pretty iffy. You can’t treat people differently because of a disability or the perception that they’re disabled. I can’t say for sure whether scars from depression years ago would trigger that protection, but no sensible HR person should care enough to argue it. I’d go back to HR and tell them you’re sure the company is not truly telling someone they need to cover up the signs of a former medical condition, and you will be continuing to follow the same dress code as everyone else. Loop in your boss too, as long as she’s not a similar disaster.
no subject
no subject
It happens less frequently now that I’m in my 40’s, but there’s a big one on my thigh that occasioned a number of rude “What happened to YOU??!?” comments as a teenager and younger adult.
However, I never discount the probability that racism often factors into people’s decision to be rude, and you’re absolutely right that keloid scarring is a lot more common in people with darker skin.