Ask a Manager: My office includes me in Administrative Professionals Day just because I’m a woman

[minoanmiss]

Administrative Professionals Day is coming up on Wednesday and I am already dreading it. I am not an administrative professional but I work in the construction industry. In our company, women make up 20% of the office staff. All but four are considered administrative support.

Every year for Administrative Professionals Day, the company pays for lunch (they buy take-out and serve it in a conference room) and gives away some small token of appreciation (a mug or a balloon). Every year, all the women in the office are invited. The first year the invitation was extended to me, I was told, “We know you’re not an admin, but we didn’t want you to feel left out since most of the women in the office will be attending.”
Rather than feel included, the annual invitation makes me feel somewhat insulted. I have a four-year degree and 20+ years of professional experience. I work in creative services, perform various tech and software functions, and wear other hats as needed. I am proud of my work and my accomplishments, but being lumped in just because I’m also a woman makes me feel minimized.

I generally decline the invitation without any fuss (“I’ve got a prior lunch engagement”) but I wonder if I’m being too sensitive? I get that they are trying to do a nice thing but I end up feeling patronized.

Nooo, you are not being too sensitive and this is not a nice thing, regardless of their intentions.

It’s sexist and demeaning that your office is bringing gender into this. You’re not going to feel “left out” if you’re not included in an event for a profession you don’t belong to, simply because you share a gender with the attendees. So this year, when you get invited, say something! You could say, “I know you mean well, but I don’t think we should invite people to this based on gender, especially given the long history of women being assumed to be admins.”

You could also say, “It’s not fair to the admins to include me. It waters down the point of honoring their work if we just make it all the women who work here.”

Frankly, though, it’s time to get rid of this patronizing day entirely. Admins don’t need flowers and lunch; they need better pay and year-round respect.

Comments

[heavenscalyx]

Yes, I concur. I was a secretary and clerk-typist before "admin" became a common term for a number of years after I was booted from grad school, and I feel like Secretaries' Week was the only time the bosses were in any way kind or thoughtful. But more pay, job security, and respect would go a long way toward replacing that.