Dear Abby: sleepovers with adult men

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I'd like your opinion on something that is creating a rift between me and my sister. My 6-year-old daughter, "Mara," who is very sweet and mature, is used to spending the night away from me because she has been spending weekends with her grandparents since she was little. Now she wants to have overnights with "Uncle Bob," who is not a blood relative but a good friend who is like family.

I have no concerns about this even though Bob is a bachelor who never had children. Mara loves him, he loves her, and I trust him. My sister, who is childless, feels strongly that this is not right. She thinks a 6-year-old should only be with her parents and grandparents. She tells me I should ask a psychologist. I am asking you. -- TRUSTING MOM IN MISSOURI

DEAR TRUSTING MOM: I'd be curious to know what Mara's father thinks of this. But since you asked me, let me point out that your little girl may be sweet and mature for her age, but at 6 years old she is also inexperienced, trusting and vulnerable. Because she loves Uncle Bob, I can understand why she might want to stay overnight at his house. In 99 percent of the cases it would be OK. But in light of what we see in the news, it's your job as a mother to err on the side of caution, and I don't recommend it.

Comments

[vass]

I feel weird about the LW stating how "mature" her six-year-old is in this context.

[cereta]

Yeah, that made me a little squirmy. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but that was one of a few bits that set off some quiet alarm bells.