agonyaunt | (no subject)

Dear Annie: My husband used to hold my hand when we were out and would always give me little pats and rubs just to let me know he was still interested in me. But once he had prostate surgery, it was like someone flipped a switch. He immediately ceased all contact. I realize we can no longer have sex the way we used to, but we can still give each other pleasure.

But here is the real problem: My husband is sometimes incontinent and must wear an adult diaper. I could live with this except that he doesn't change it for several days at a time. You can only imagine how he smells. He says he doesn't notice it, but I gag when I'm near him.

I have told him he needs to change the diaper more often and take daily showers. He'll try for a bit, but then reverts back to his nasty ways. In the meantime, I can't even get close enough to kiss him. What do I do? -- Missing It

Dear Missing: It's possible your husband wants you to keep your distance, and this is one way to ensure it. It's also possible he is depressed about his current condition and has stopped caring about his hygiene. Suggest he speak to his doctor (or you can call his doctor's office and leave a message explaining the problem). In the meantime, remind him gently when it's time to shower and change.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/anniesmailbox/s-2295477