Dear Annie: Graduation Party?

[cereta]

Dear Annie: I am the youngest of seven children and the only one who didn't marry young. I am also the only one who attended college. I am graduating in May and mentioned to my parents that I hoped to have a small graduation party with family and close friends. One friend already offered to make my cake.

You can imagine my disappointment when my parents said it was silly to have a graduation party, and they'd rather spend money on a wedding whenever I get married. Annie, I wasn't asking them to spend money. I just wanted to use the hospitality of their home because my college apartment is a few hours away.

I've worked hard for my degree, and I'm hurt by their lack of excitement. I want to share my happiness. I don't need gifts. Would it be against etiquette to throw myself a party? -- Puzzled

Dear Puzzled: It is OK to give yourself a party, but please don't mention your graduation until after your guests arrive. You don't want to give the impression of, "I'm so fantastic and accomplished -- bring presents." Simply say you want to have a party. You can then tell them during the event that you are celebrating your degree. Another option is to get together with your classmates and have a group celebration, whereby you are essentially giving a graduation party for one another.

Comments

[redbird]

I also note that the Annies do not say "and of course when you get married your parents shouldn't mention why they're throwing a party that day, either."

If a wedding is an achievement, as many people think (the LW's parents clearly among them), it's as gauche to boast about that and hint at gifts as it would be to do the same about college graduation. Which is, imho, not at all.

If someone wants to avoid "I'm so fantastic and accomplished, bring presents," the graduation party can be presented in terms of "after n years, I'm done with college, which means my life is changing."

[azurelunatic]

It's a major life milestone, and in a way that "I am no longer attending college (and didn't graduate)" often isn't (though if it's a College of Evil Bees, then that's a freaking milestone worth celebrating too).