Ask A Manager: 2. Is voluminous, curly hair unprofessional?

[minoanmiss]

[Sorry for posting from AAM a lot, but I'm there almost every day as I continue working on my job-hunt.]

A Reader Writes: (#2 at the link)

My hair is naturally thick, curly, and voluminous. I do my best to keep it in neat spirals, but every once in awhile it gets a mind of its own and starts to frizz. When this happens, I pull it back into a ponytail (even though that makes it look like I have a bush growing out of my head). I used to straighten it when I was in college, but it was very damaging and took many hours a week to maintain, so I’ve learned to live with the curls.

I am a receptionist at a university in a wealthy and conservative area. On a recent humid day, my hair began to frizz mid-day. Before I got the chance to grab a ponytail holder from my bag, I interacted with a parent who told me my hair looked unprofessional and I later found out complained to my boss about it. My boss told me this wasn’t the first time he’s gotten a complaint about my hair and asked me to do something to make it look more “normal.” I’m stumped on what to do. I don’t want to spend a ton of time or money straightening it. Updos aren’t a great option because my hair tends to be too thick for pins or clips to hold for extended periods of time. Are daily ponytails my best bet? I would love to hear if you and your readers have guidelines on professional hair or experience with this. Also, in case readers are wondering, my hair texture is not indicative of any ethnicity or culture that might get my boss in hot water for his “normal” hair comment.

I am a pale white girl from the southern U.S.

People are complaining to your boss about your hair? And a parent even complained to your face about it? Unless your hair is a crazed rat’s nest, this is ridiculous.
You have voluminous hair. That’s how your hair is. As long as you’re keeping it reasonably well groomed, a little bit of frizz is not offensive or unprofessional. You certainly don’t need to straighten it!
The one thing I’ll note is that you didn’t say how long your hair is. It’s true that long hair — whether curly or straight — sometimes does look more professionally polished when it’s pulled back, and ponytails are a good option for that. If you’re working around people who are the type of complain about other people’s hair (and apparently you are) and you feel like you need to mollify them, ponytails might be your answer.
But truly, if your boss makes any more comments about “normal” hair, it’s reasonable to point out that this is your normal hair.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

TBH, if her family's been in the American South since antebellum days, I would bet money she has a Black ancestor. But I digress. There are other paths to inheriting thick curly hair, most of them despised by some group of idiots or another and none of them deserving censure.

The discussion had more "your boss is an idiot; also, here are some suggestions that work with your current hair" and much less "you should change your hair since your boss said so" than I was expecting, which was good.

[conuly]

What the hell sort of overprivileged assholes are wasting everybody's time by complaining about frizzy hair?

[ayebydan]

This just reminds me of how much bs bosses can get away with in the USA because most of what I'd suggest if she were in Scotland in regard to telling her boss where to go would probably get her fired there. I mean, there are ponytails and braids and so forth which can look 'professional'* but frankly there should be no need to do any of that. She certainly should not damage her hair with product or straightening because other people don't understand what weather does to hair.


*I still have a huge issue with the idea of professional hair. Hair, tats, piercings ect don't impact the quality of your work.

[cereta]

Grrr. Disclaimer: I am a white, white, did I mention white girl whose hair waves a little if you talk to it nicely.

However, this topic always pisses me off, because my spouse (who gets his curly hair from his Puerto Rican mother's family) keeps his hair brutally short because he says that letting it get longer than an inch is looks "unprofessional." And I know that at least part of that is because his hair is curly. And I know at part of that comes down to it looking not-white.

I wish I had advice for the LW. I suspect this probably is actionable, but it would likely cause the LW more problems than it would solve.

[jadelennox]

I have never been able to do anything "professional" with my hair besides keeping it in a ponytail. I once got my hair professionally straightened for kicks and giggles and it was great until I needed to shower; I've never been able to straighten it on my own in a way that doesn't pop into curls at the slightest humidity. I've finally learned to take care of it and get it cut so it looks nice, but it will never look professional: very curly white people hair, except at the level of TV people with constant upkeep, always reads professionally as messy. (I'm not denying that it's worse for black women, obviously -- but I can only comment personally on my experience of having a jewfro.)

I've never been harassed for it, though, except by my sister, who kept pointedly leaving flatirons at my house.