[NYT Social Q’s] Private Call as Podcast

[magid]

(3rd of 4 at the gift link)

I have had depression for most of my life, and I have shared my struggles with my brother in many phone calls over the years. Recently, I heard laughter in the background, and I asked him if I was on speakerphone. He told me that I am always on speakerphone — that his family likes to listen to see if I will say something stupid. That pretty much ended our phone calls. When I tried to elicit an apology from him, he said I was overreacting. Still, I miss the feeling of closeness I had with him. Thoughts?

BROTHER

It’s so disappointing when people are needlessly cruel. I hope that when you asked your brother for an apology, you explained how hurtful it was to learn that he had violated your privacy for laughs. I’m afraid that whatever sense of closeness you felt was not truly reciprocated. You may want to consider a different kind of relationship with your brother. But I would save your confidences for someone more compassionate.

Comments

[otter]

That feeling of closeness is an illusion and one-sided. What a shitty thing to do to someone.

[magid]

You know, I shouldn’t be surprised at how awful folks can be to one another, but this really got to me, which is why I felt like posting it.

[full_metal_ox]

“Surprise! Your anguished confidences are so cute!“ Wanna post your conference call to TikTok, too, so the whole world can join in the lulz?

LW’s brother apparently doesn’t realize (or worse, doesn’t care) that the outcome could be a corpse.

[mrissa]

LW, you need to give yourself the space to mourn the relationship with the brother you thought you had. Of course you miss the feeling of closeness! It's only natural that you would. That doesn't make it available from the asshole your brother turns out to be, now that you know, but it's very natural to miss it.

[naomikritzer]

Wow, that is HORRIFYING.

[conuly]

Wow.