AAM: "I will confront you by Wednesday of this Week"

[minoanmiss]

Content advisories: drunkenness, groping, unarmed violence, chaos, epic holiday partying.


Several years ago, a reader shared with us this epic email that was sent by their company’s boss after a holiday party gone terribly awry, and as we enter the holiday season we remember its glory.

“This happened about ten years ago, but the email I received from our boss was so epic I preserved it.

Context: The second year I worked at this company, our holiday party was held on a dinner cruise boat. Our boss footed the bill for dinner and an open bar, and a few other companies also hosted their own parties on the boat at the same time. Since I was underage at the time, I did not drink, and actually left early with my date. Everything was fine when I left. The Monday after, I rolled into the office– the first person there– and was greeted with this email from our boss [identifying details removed]:

‘Good morning to all. I hope all of you had time to recuperate and reflect about the unusual chain of events and circumstances at this year’s Christmas party. Some of you went home early and did not take in the full range of events.

Unfortunately, some of our staff got out of hand, including the spouses. Things were said, and things were done, that quite frankly were very inappropriate. Also, we had people from the adjoining group that decided to take advantage of our open bar and co-mingle with our group.

In regards to the inappropriate behavior, I am not going to go into all of the details, but let it be said that the root cause was probably due to the open bar. Some of our staff decided that the open bar meant that the drinking could be unlimited, not only in how much, but how they drank. As a result, some our staff and spouses decided that shots were OK. Shots were ordered for some who do not even drink. Shots are not OK at a company Christmas party. Other staff and spouses got multiple drinks at once for themselves and for people not even in our group. Others decided it was OK to get openly drunk and beligerent, to the point of making racial slurs. I, myself, am guilty of attacking someone from the other group after he decided to retaliate by groping my wife.

Having thought about the circumstances and the fact that we have to work together as a firm and team, some of you need to apologize for your behavior and/or for the behavior of your spouse. We specifically implemented a no fraternization policy and some of you could get fired on that alone, while other staff exercised no restraint over their spouse for their drunken condition. It is not OK for a spouse to misbehave, just because he or she is not an employee. Many careers have been destroyed, and people get fired, due to the conduct of their spouse. You are expected to exercise constraint over your spouse, or take them home. And if that cannot be done, then you should not bring your spouse.

In regards to the Firm’s policy on drinking, there will be no more open bars. Unfortunately, some of you and your spouses exercise extremely poor judgment. Because of this poor judgment, it puts the Firm at risk. Given the poor road conditions that night, some of you could have ended up dead. It is also unfortunate that a few have to ruin it for the whole group.

I would like to start the apologies by stating I am sorry for not handling the situation that I was confronted with in a different manner. I feel embarrassed, and it was not conduct befitting of the firm’s president. I also felt betrayed by some of you for patronizing the one individual from the adjoining group, who’s behavior was lewd and offensive, not to mention the outright theft by running up our bar tab.

I invite others to make some form of apology, either by email or in person for what they did or said, or what their spouse did or said. You can do this voluntarily, and you know who you are, or I will confront you by Wednesday of this week. I do not intend to ignore what happened. If I have to confront you, you could lose your job. I will be available Monday and Tuesday late afternoon, or you can email me and/or others. Let’s not let this one incidence stop us from being [#1 company in field]. We have a lot going for ourselves and let’s keep it going.’”

Read an update as well. <-- additional content advisories: racism

Comments

[minoanmiss]

A true holiday classic. Someone should create a ficathon around this: choose any one aspect of this epic tale and set the fic at a misbegotten holiday party in the fictional universe of your choice.

[jadelennox]

that would rule.

[castiron]

There's another AAM holiday classic that has multiple fics based on it, though I can only find the Avengers Phil Coulson/Clint Barton one.

[conuly]

let it be said that the root cause was probably due to the open bar

Ya think?

[katiedid717]

Oh my God, this is amazing.

Last year my office went out to lunch for our holiday party. The fact that it was noon on a Thursday didn't stop a couple of women from downing cocktail after cocktail (I was sitting across the table from them, they each had at least 5 in the hour and 45 minutes I was there). One of these women started preaching The Gospel of Our Lord and Savior Donald Trump. The other started talking about how she voted for him because she agrees that we need stricter immigration policies since she had not one but two sets of falsified documents before legally becoming a citizen. I got back to the office about 20 minutes before them, which meant I got to hear them singing "Kumbaya" very loudly as they entered the building and then heard one of them fall up the stairs (which was when I quietly closed my office door so that I didn't have to talk to either of them). my coworker went into the kitchen around 4 pm and saw one of them leaning against the wall and sleeping while she waited for the coffee maker to finish brewing. It was a mess

[minoanmiss]

... woooowwwwww.

[full_metal_ox]

🎵Rules for thee, my Lord, Kumbaya;
Not for me, my Lord, Kumbaya…🎶

[full_metal_ox]

Shots were ordered for some who do not even drink.

Right there’s a 500-pound Missing Lede: were said shots force-fed to those who do not even drink? (And with what medical and behavioral consequences?) The sort of people who feel the need to evangelize drunkenness sure seemed to be carrying the day.

[mrissa]

I agree that this is entirely possible and very, very bad. Two other marginally better but still bad possibilities for what they meant by this phrase:

1) Shots were ordered for those who do not drink and then when those people did not drink them, someone else "had to" drink them "for" them. This has happened to me. "Come onnnn, we ordered you a shottttt! You're no funnnnn!" I am indeed no fun. I am also not responsible for what other people order and then drink, no matter how much they label it mine. Onward.

2) Shots were ordered for people who were going "haha oh just this once but I never ever drink guys I totally don't drink actually I prefer this brand over that brand." I know several people whose problematic relationship with alcohol includes claiming that this is an exception, something they never ever do, just this once...every time, multiple times a month. (Luckily I do not know them WELL.)

But I can't really think of a good, healthy, nontoxic work environment option on offer here.

[adrian_turtle]

The worse one is, "No thanks on the shots, I don't drink. But those mocktails look good! Could you get me that one with the basil and lime, while you're up?"

[full_metal_ox]

Whereupon the companion goes ahead and sneak-feeds the abstainer a regular Gimlet, Margarita, or whatever?

[adrian_turtle]

Just so. I learned to keep my drinks very, very, simple (seltzer and lime) at parties where I was not dealing with a trusted friend or a professional bartender. I am not confident of my ability to tell the difference between bitters/mint/lavender/vodka and just bitters/mint/lavender.

[dissectionist]

Oh yeah, you haven’t lived until you’ve gone to a goth club where everyone knows you and it’s your birthday, and you then have to tell a bunch of different people that you don’t drink when they show up with a birthday shot for you. “No, seriously, I’ll get super ill - yes, I know it’s my birthday, I don’t want to spend it puking in the bathroom for two hours from a single shot - no, I’m not making this up - seriously, I really can’t drink that, but I appreciate the thought-“

Nobody can sulk like a mid-30s goth, and I had like a dozen of them sulking that night. It damn near cleared the dancefloor.

[magid]

I’ve always read that as “yes, it’s an open bar, but it looks bad if I order *that many* drinks, so I'm getting some in the name of $OtherCoworkers, because I know they don’t drink so I’ll have even more booze for me.

[redbird]

If it wasn't for the open bar, I'd assume it was a variation on asking the non-drinker for the two-per-person drink tickets they're not using.