I took a step back and feel like I'm failing

[minoanmiss]

I took a step back and feel like I’m failing

I recently left a job that I loved and was good at after a decade, due to moral injury (I worked in social services and under the current regime, things are … really not good in a way I could not handle being a part of). At the time I left, I was making very good money for my field.

In the two months since then, I have applied to everything within my field that’s available up to a 90-minute commute away. Due to needing to pay bills and anxiety over the current state of job-searching, I ended up accepting a position that I’m not honestly that happy with. While the work is similar to what I was doing and is in an interesting city, it is a title drop (coordinator down to project assistant) and a significant drop in pay.

For some reason, I cannot get over the feeling that I have failed and am now “regressing” professionally. I literally cried the whole drive to do the hiring paperwork because I just kept thinking of how stupid and under-qualified I must be, to not be able to secure a position of similar title or pay after over a decade of experience. Was my previous job just a fluke, and I wasn’t qualified to be working there either? Am I doomed to be an assistant making less than $40,000 a year once I’m 40, 50, and 60?

I know logically there are a lot of other factors at play, but I don’t know how to get over this feeling that I should be better than this by now. I can’t go back in time and join another industry or go to college for something else, and I don’t regret leaving my previous position with the situation that’s unfolding. But how do I shift my thinking away from this negative feeling of shame?

You got a job in a terrible job market where lots of people are spending exponentially more months job-searching. That’s not failure; that’s making a practical decision in a difficult situation, and doing better than a lot of your competition is!

You aren’t going to be stuck in this job forever. You took it because it made sense for you in the circumstances you’re in right now. At some point those circumstances will change, and you’ll move to a different place on your professional path.

In fact, there’s a ton of room to move from project assistant to coordinator jobs (and from there, beyond). It’s an incredibly common path for people to take! If you do well and become known as someone who’s conscientious and good at the work, it’s highly likely that you’ll be able to move up from here. (And this isn’t needing to jump from assistant to VP to get back where you were; you’re talking about a much easier move.)

Comments

[mrissa]

I feel like I should just wear a shirt that says, "this is not a referendum on your worth as a person" around the outside world these days.

[jadelennox]

oh hell yeah.

[lethe1]

Leaving a job without having secured another one first seems a bit reckless to me. If LW had held out a little longer, they wouldn't have had to jump at the first opportunity due to stress over money.

[movingfinger]

LW left their job, which was a steady check and probably decent benefits, without another job in hand? In this economy? LW is lucky to have a job now, after only a couple of months, and needs to pull themself together and excel where they are. In a year, maybe, start looking again with a fresh set of excellent references in hand. Who knows, an advancement opportunity may arise at the current employer, too.