LW needs to remember his wife knows her parents better than he does, because she had to grow up with them and her siblings. It's painful to be in Wife's position.
To be fair, LW might not see the difference between a baby shower at home vs a baby shower at an upscale restaurant. But Wife has the right to decide whether that venue change is fair to her. (It's possible Wife's parents fell into penury in the years between SIL's shower and Wife's shower, and simply can't afford an upscale do this time. Or it may be yet another example in a long line of minimal effort events for her, but the best for the rest. Really only Wife will know that.)
Also, a "small" family can very well have lots more love in it than a bustling big one. LW's job is to support his wife, not put his wishes above hers.
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To be fair, LW might not see the difference between a baby shower at home vs a baby shower at an upscale restaurant. But Wife has the right to decide whether that venue change is fair to her. (It's possible Wife's parents fell into penury in the years between SIL's shower and Wife's shower, and simply can't afford an upscale do this time. Or it may be yet another example in a long line of minimal effort events for her, but the best for the rest. Really only Wife will know that.)
Also, a "small" family can very well have lots more love in it than a bustling big one. LW's job is to support his wife, not put his wishes above hers.