Clearly this person is not on very good terms with her MIL or has very formal ideas of how her nights should be structured..which is not bad! Which is fine! But if this had happened to me at any point in my marriage, SOMETHING WAS UP.
Because neither my mom nor my MIL would have dropped by unannounced, EVER. If they did, I would have been concerned and focused on them. It would have been a weird thing that was a sign of something else going on with them. Is this MIL single? Widowed? Left FIL at home? What?
But if this is a recurring problem of her dropping by unannounced and unwelcome, then yes, the boundary stuff comes into play. If it's a one-off, that's not what is going on IMHO. Something else is behind it.
I feel like there is much more to this situation than what the LW presents.
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Clearly this person is not on very good terms with her MIL or has very formal ideas of how her nights should be structured..which is not bad! Which is fine! But if this had happened to me at any point in my marriage, SOMETHING WAS UP.
Because neither my mom nor my MIL would have dropped by unannounced, EVER. If they did, I would have been concerned and focused on them. It would have been a weird thing that was a sign of something else going on with them. Is this MIL single? Widowed? Left FIL at home? What?
But if this is a recurring problem of her dropping by unannounced and unwelcome, then yes, the boundary stuff comes into play. If it's a one-off, that's not what is going on IMHO. Something else is behind it.
I feel like there is much more to this situation than what the LW presents.