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Dear Prudence,
Back in January, my husband and I purchased a lovely two-story home in a quiet neighborhood. It has a large balcony above the backyard that is perfect for entertaining, which we do often. It also affords an expansive view of our next-door neighbor’s yard as well. Initially, this was not a problem. But when the weather grew warmer, things changed.
Our neighbor has a pool and he often sunbathes and lounges by his pool naked. Anyone who is on the balcony has a clear view of him wherever he happens to be. I have told our neighbor what we are able to see, and asked him to either cover up or postpone his tanning sessions for when we aren’t using our balcony, especially when our two kids (son, 7, and daughter, 10) are there. He responded that it’s his yard and he can do whatever he pleases in it, and if we have a problem with that, we should wait until he goes back inside before using our balcony. We feel this is an imposition on us and that we shouldn’t have to schedule our lives and those of our kids around his stubbornness. We are considering seeing an attorney about this if we can’t resolve the issue amicably. Do we have any recourse here?
—Involuntary Jaybird Watcher
Dear Involuntary Jaybird Watcher,
It’s certainly unusual and a bit weird that your neighbor doesn’t care at all about his privacy. Whether he’s actually free to do what he wants by his pool legally depends on the state you live in—some crack down on nudity when easily seen from a neighbor’s home, while others say it’s your yard, your rules. You could see an attorney about it, sure. But it’s worth asking yourself whether that’s worth it, and what exactly you fear will happen if your kids catch a glance of this guy unclothed, from a distance, while safely supervised by parents on their own patio.
They must know what male genitals are at this point. And it’s not as if he’s filming pornography by the pool or making obscene gestures. He has one penis, which is just sitting there while he reads his Kindle. That seems like something that, while certainly surprising and even jarring to see initially, would get old pretty fast. When you’re entertaining on the patio, my assumption is that your children will be eating, running around, fighting with each other, and begging for dessert and screen time—all things that are certainly more interesting to them than your neighbor’s body. That said, I get it—we do not normally see strangers naked and your discomfort is understandable. How about you make a trip to your local home improvement store and ask about things like screens, curtains, lattice fences, and plant barriers? Then hang in there until the end of swim season.
Link
Back in January, my husband and I purchased a lovely two-story home in a quiet neighborhood. It has a large balcony above the backyard that is perfect for entertaining, which we do often. It also affords an expansive view of our next-door neighbor’s yard as well. Initially, this was not a problem. But when the weather grew warmer, things changed.
Our neighbor has a pool and he often sunbathes and lounges by his pool naked. Anyone who is on the balcony has a clear view of him wherever he happens to be. I have told our neighbor what we are able to see, and asked him to either cover up or postpone his tanning sessions for when we aren’t using our balcony, especially when our two kids (son, 7, and daughter, 10) are there. He responded that it’s his yard and he can do whatever he pleases in it, and if we have a problem with that, we should wait until he goes back inside before using our balcony. We feel this is an imposition on us and that we shouldn’t have to schedule our lives and those of our kids around his stubbornness. We are considering seeing an attorney about this if we can’t resolve the issue amicably. Do we have any recourse here?
—Involuntary Jaybird Watcher
Dear Involuntary Jaybird Watcher,
It’s certainly unusual and a bit weird that your neighbor doesn’t care at all about his privacy. Whether he’s actually free to do what he wants by his pool legally depends on the state you live in—some crack down on nudity when easily seen from a neighbor’s home, while others say it’s your yard, your rules. You could see an attorney about it, sure. But it’s worth asking yourself whether that’s worth it, and what exactly you fear will happen if your kids catch a glance of this guy unclothed, from a distance, while safely supervised by parents on their own patio.
They must know what male genitals are at this point. And it’s not as if he’s filming pornography by the pool or making obscene gestures. He has one penis, which is just sitting there while he reads his Kindle. That seems like something that, while certainly surprising and even jarring to see initially, would get old pretty fast. When you’re entertaining on the patio, my assumption is that your children will be eating, running around, fighting with each other, and begging for dessert and screen time—all things that are certainly more interesting to them than your neighbor’s body. That said, I get it—we do not normally see strangers naked and your discomfort is understandable. How about you make a trip to your local home improvement store and ask about things like screens, curtains, lattice fences, and plant barriers? Then hang in there until the end of swim season.
Link
no subject
anonymous asked:
boobs shouldn't sag like that
asirensscng answered:
what a funny way of admitting that you've never seen a pair of boobs outside of porn
that1betch:
I always think of one of my co-workers at a husky farm near Inari, who told me apropos of nothing while we were clearing out dog shit together that he thought the reason Americans are "like that" ("like what, Veikka" got the response "you know what I mean") is because "they never see their grandma's tits." His logic was that "in Finland, you go to the sauna with your grandma from when you're a baby, and you see her naked, and this is years and years before you ever see any porn, so you know before you see any of it that it's temporary and fake. And when you get a girlfriend later, you know it's only a matter of time before her tits look like that too, you accept this. And Americans don't know that! They don't! They look at porn, and then they get a wife, and then they're surprised and bitter when she gets old - it's true!"
Like, to be clear, I think Veikka's analysis might have been missing more than a bit of nuance, this is the same guy whose motto was "Driving 600km south to Rovaniemi to get therapy is expensive, chopping wood till you don't care about it anymore is free", but I do occasionally still look at some British or American take online and think to myself, in his voice, "they've never seen their grandma's tits"
Preserved on this relevant Reddit discussion:
https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/okuyro/the_things_you_learn_in_a_finnish_sauna/#lightbox
no subject
Yes this! I think he has a very good point!