cereta: Laura Cereta (cereta)
Lucy ([personal profile] cereta) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2017-04-05 12:59 pm

Dear Abby: I...really?

DEAR ABBY: I am estranged from my son because he changed his last name when he married. He did it over my objection. Reportedly, his wife's parents tried to dissuade them from doing it, too. The explanation we were given was "they need to have the same last name to feel like a family." I suppose our last name was not acceptable, although they claimed they had nothing against it.

I tried to compromise and suggested my son use a hyphenated name. They agreed to it, but changed their minds after the wedding. I suspect that their reason was they want their children to have a different last name than ours.

What is your take on this? Am I overreacting by wanting to have nothing to do with them? -- MOM OF ANOTHER NAME

DEAR MOM: Yes, you are overreacting. If you keep this up, your grandchildren will miss out on a loving grandma. It is possible that your son and his wife preferred a name that was less ethnic or easier to spell. Hyphenating names can create problems -- especially if it continues into the next generation.
minoanmiss: A Minoan Harper, wearing a long robe, sitting on a rock (Minoan Harper)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2017-04-05 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
LW is way overreacting (choosing a new family name is not at all necessarily about Rejecting Yours) but the 'less ethnic' bit in the reply rubs me the wrong way.

[personal profile] saunteringfiend 2017-04-05 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Seconded.