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Dear Abby: pet-sitting father finds more than cats at son's place
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently moved, taking jobs that are closer to our son and daughter-in-law. They have no children but want to start a family, and we are praying for our first grandchild.
When they take business trips (which is often), I take care of their cats and dogs. A few days ago, while I was in their bedroom (where the cats are kept), I saw an anatomically correct sex toy that had been left on the bed stand. I'm no prude, but should I say something to my son? We have an excellent relationship. I'm concerned that he may need some fatherly advice if they are having conception problems. What do you think? -- CONCERNED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR CONCERNED: In the interest of family harmony, keep your advice to yourself unless you are asked. If they are having "conception problems," rest assured they will find their way to a fertility expert without your assistance.
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What advice, exactly, does Dad think his son needs?
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Of course, she tried to convince me today that Wikipedia was a good place for her to go to find information about sex. She was more than a little indignant when I laughed and suggested Scarleteen.
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I'd been watching my folks' place for a couple weeks and forgot to take something out of the bathroom after I'd washed it, and didn't remember it until after they got in that evening. I'm not sure they saw it before I suddenly realized and grabbed it, since no one has ever said anything about it to anyone else.
But yeah, only did that the once.
A more serious answer
Do not offer advice to a couple even if you know they are (a) trying to conceive and (b) having trouble, which are things Dad does not know for certain. Unless asked, do not share this great thing you read about, or how your sister finally got pregnant, or this position/drug/sex toy that you heard was just awesome. Feel free to state you are there if they want to talk, but do not give unsolicited advice. Please.
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(And yes, the whole letter is full of extremely bad assumptions.)
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What your son and his wife do behind closed doors is none of your damn business. When, if or how they choose to conceive is none of your damn business. Waiting to have children isn't the same as having conception difficulties and is, again, none of your damn business. If they ARE having legit conception problems, it is none of your damn business.
Leave your son and his wife to themselves. Your opinion on their sex life would embarrass and shame them, and they will be looking for a less nosy cat-sitter and spending less time hanging out at your place.
They are adults; they are fully capable of doing whatever the hell they want on their own time. Mind your own damn business.