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Oh, wow, this is terrible advice
Dear Amy: I work in a busy hair salon. I have many loyal customers and while they’re in the chair, we talk a lot and share personal information. I’ve gotten to know some of these clients very well, as they show me photos of their kids and spouses (and sometimes their pets).
Recently I was on an online site where people anonymously post items (with photos) detailing how they are “dating” someone who is cheating on their spouse or partner. While scrolling through for my own weird entertainment, I saw a photo of my client “Julie’s” husband.
I’ve never met him but I know it is him because it is the exact same photo that Julie has shown me – of her husband standing at a horse farm. The posting was quite detailed and I believe it is legit. Now that I’ve seen this, I can’t unsee it. I don’t know what to do. I’m dreading seeing Julie for her next appointment. Should I tell her I’ve seen this? Should I leave it alone because it’s really none of my business? Should I pack up my implements and move to another state?
– Only the Messenger
Dear Messenger: First, you should ask yourself if you would want to know if your partner was cheating on you. I assume you would. Would you want to be told face-to-face (or face-to-mirror) by your hair stylist? I assume you would not.
Find a way to tell “Julie” anonymously. You might be able to do this by taking a screenshot or a photo of the posting (or copying the link) and sending it to her from someone else’s phone, with a message saying something like, “Someone I know asked me to send this to you.”
Link
Recently I was on an online site where people anonymously post items (with photos) detailing how they are “dating” someone who is cheating on their spouse or partner. While scrolling through for my own weird entertainment, I saw a photo of my client “Julie’s” husband.
I’ve never met him but I know it is him because it is the exact same photo that Julie has shown me – of her husband standing at a horse farm. The posting was quite detailed and I believe it is legit. Now that I’ve seen this, I can’t unsee it. I don’t know what to do. I’m dreading seeing Julie for her next appointment. Should I tell her I’ve seen this? Should I leave it alone because it’s really none of my business? Should I pack up my implements and move to another state?
– Only the Messenger
Dear Messenger: First, you should ask yourself if you would want to know if your partner was cheating on you. I assume you would. Would you want to be told face-to-face (or face-to-mirror) by your hair stylist? I assume you would not.
Find a way to tell “Julie” anonymously. You might be able to do this by taking a screenshot or a photo of the posting (or copying the link) and sending it to her from someone else’s phone, with a message saying something like, “Someone I know asked me to send this to you.”
Link
no subject
As awkward and embarrassing as it would be to hear it face-to-face from somebody I know, it's gotta be a million times worse to find out anonymously. Then I have no idea who knows or who they're gossiping about it with!
LW, do the right thing. That means being open and honest with this woman.
(Of course, if LW wants to take an intermediate step of informing this woman's husband anonymously that he has X days to tell her before LW does, that's okay. He deserves no courtesy.)