cereta: Laura Cereta (cereta)
Lucy ([personal profile] cereta) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2017-03-01 07:59 am
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Dear Abby: Adoptive Parents Celebrate Special Day Each Year

DEAR ABBY: As parents of an adopted child, we were concerned about when we would have "the conversation." Then a neighbor told us about how they would celebrate "Gotcha Day" with their adopted daughter each year.

Gotcha Day is a day to celebrate because it's the day we became a family. We "adopted" their idea and have been doing something special on this day since before our child could even say the word "gotcha."

Early on, she had no idea what we were celebrating; she just knew it was a special day for us. Through the years, she was able to process exactly what it meant at her own pace, which relieved the need to ever have that dreaded conversation. Recently our daughter told us she loves this day more than her actual birthday!

I thought I'd share this with other adoptive parents who worry about when the right time might be to explain to their child that they were prayed for, wanted, loved and adopted. -- BLESSED PARENTS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR BLESSED PARENTS: I had never heard of anything like this, but I think it's a great concept and certainly worth sharing with my readers. Thank you!
fairestcat: Dreadful the cat (Default)

[personal profile] fairestcat 2017-03-02 06:20 am (UTC)(link)
My best friend growing up found out when we were in middle school that the people she thought were her parents were in fact her grandparents and one of her sisters was her actual mother, and it seriously fucked her up. For which I really don't blame her.

In my family, I don't think I ever didn't know that my sister had been adopted by my dad. My parents met shortly after she was born, married when she was two and my dad adopted her when she was four. And it was just a fact. It wasn't a ~thing~ to be hidden or kept secret, it was just a fact about how our family was put together. I realize a kid adopted by one parent is a different thing than a kid adopted by both parents, but I think the principle for how to handle it is very much the same.
wordweaverlynn: (Default)

[personal profile] wordweaverlynn 2017-03-05 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
A relative of mine didn't discover he was adopted until he was in his 60s. His father was dying, his mother was long dead, and he found out only because it turns out he hadn't actually been legally adopted. Can you imagine how devastating?
the_rck: (Default)

[personal profile] the_rck 2017-03-01 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I hadn't realized that Gotcha Day wasn't widely known. I think all of the adoptive parents I know celebrate it. I am not an adoptive parent myself nor was I adopted, so I don't know about it from that.
sathari: (House- happy in spite of myself)

[personal profile] sathari 2017-03-02 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
I'm just commenting to bounce and squee and squeak and make happy noises all over this. That kids know they are loved and welcomed and wanted by the people who are bringing them up, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
minoanmiss: A detail of the Ladies in Blue fresco (Default)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2017-03-02 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
Heartily seconded!