Dear Abby: Adoptive Parents Celebrate Special Day Each Year

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: As parents of an adopted child, we were concerned about when we would have "the conversation." Then a neighbor told us about how they would celebrate "Gotcha Day" with their adopted daughter each year.

Gotcha Day is a day to celebrate because it's the day we became a family. We "adopted" their idea and have been doing something special on this day since before our child could even say the word "gotcha."

Early on, she had no idea what we were celebrating; she just knew it was a special day for us. Through the years, she was able to process exactly what it meant at her own pace, which relieved the need to ever have that dreaded conversation. Recently our daughter told us she loves this day more than her actual birthday!

I thought I'd share this with other adoptive parents who worry about when the right time might be to explain to their child that they were prayed for, wanted, loved and adopted. -- BLESSED PARENTS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR BLESSED PARENTS: I had never heard of anything like this, but I think it's a great concept and certainly worth sharing with my readers. Thank you!

Comments

[cereta]

Okay, so yes, there's not much to discuss here and I am mostly sharing because it touches on a pet issue of mine. You are all free to do the same! ;)

As an adoptee, I'm sometimes asked when my parents told me I was adopted, and the truth is, they never really had a "conversation." They just talked about it from day one (and I mean infancy), so I always knew. I really, really, really think that's the best way to handle it. I remember yelling at the tv set when two adoptive parents on a show opined that six was "definitely" too young to tell their daughter she was adopted. I've heard so many stories of kids being told (or worse, finding out some other way) later in life, even in their teens and taking it badly. And it's usually not the "I'm adopted" part that they're upset about. They're upset that they were denied this information about themselves.

I frequently do acknowledge in some small way (a card or phone call to my mom) the day my parents brought me home. It's a day that has meaning.

[the_rck]

I hadn't realized that Gotcha Day wasn't widely known. I think all of the adoptive parents I know celebrate it. I am not an adoptive parent myself nor was I adopted, so I don't know about it from that.

[sathari]

I'm just commenting to bounce and squee and squeak and make happy noises all over this. That kids know they are loved and welcomed and wanted by the people who are bringing them up, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1