Sense and Sensitivity: Kids Skipping School for Protests

[cereta]

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't want my teenage children going to the marches and protests taking place in my city. These marches are for causes I support, like women's rights, the environment and raising the minimum wage. But these marches can get dangerous and almost always have a police presence. Also, I am not sure how much of a positive impact they end up having in the long run. How can I ensure that my teenagers are in school and not out on the street with signs? -- Skipping School, New York City

DEAR SKIPPING SCHOOL: I want to encourage you to rethink your position. The fact that your teenage children want to be involved in the political process and speak up about their thoughts is a good thing. It will encourage active participation in the voting process when they come of age. Of course you want them to be safe. A different approach might be to offer to go with them, letting them know that you want to protect them from harm. You can also give them instructions on how to be in a crowd, including not pushing their way into a crush of people where it can get dangerous, even when people are well meaning. You can find out from their school if any organized or chaperoned efforts are being considered as these protests pop up.

Reality says you may not be able to prevent them from going. What you want to avoid is having them lie to you. Then you really won’t be able to protect them. I recommend that you keep the dialogue open, talk about safety and possibly even become their chaperone.

Comments

[cereta]

Okay, let's take it as a given that Harriette's response is over-complicated and vaguely ridiculous. No, schools are not going to organize student trips to protests, for heaven's sake.

But, assuming that it's not like, every week and/or interfering with their schoolwork, what do we think of allowing a kid to skip a day of school to engage in political protest?

Me, I sort of figure that if my mom could, in 1984, take me out of school early to attend Opening Day of the Reds' baseball season, someone taking a kid out of school to attend, say, the Women's March is not exactly setting the kid up for the lifetime of truancy and failure.

[jadelennox]

My mom offered to take me out of school to go to the circus, and my sister skipped school to go to a duran duran concert. You can't have a better civics lesson than talking to your kids about protest, and letting them rarely skip to attend one. You can make it wicked teachable: how does the coverage differ from the experience they saw; what are their goals and do they think the protest helped; etc. And find an adult to bring them if you're worried.

[amireal]

Wow. Not terrible! I'd only add that by engaging WITH their children they can be sure that they're being prepared for the marches properly. I feel like 'give them instructions' line is a bit thin. The truth is there are people who genuinely know what they're talking about giving good advice. I.E. there are lists and run downs of how to stay safe AND what to do if you find yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. (It boils down to walk away fast but it's amazing what you don't think of at the time if you haven't prepared in advance.)

Mostly I sort of see a conflation with what the parent THINKS happens vs what might actually happen at a march.

[cereta]

Yeah, I was being a bit harsh on Harriette. The core of, "maybe go with them" is not bad at all.

[mathemagicalschema]

...it sounds like the teenagers are skipping school to attend protests? Did Harriette just miss that, or am I misreading something?

Protesting probably shouldn't be taking priority over school except in exceptional circumstances. Not every protest is equally important or urgent, and surely not all of them overlap with school hours.

Offering some safety guidance and chaperoning are good suggestions, but also, some protests can be predicted to be more dangerous than others. A protest likely to end with tear gas and mass arrests is probably not a good place for minors! Whereas some like the Women's March may tend to be safer. A protest mostly drawing hardcore activists is more likely to get dicey; a protest with lots of buy-in from Mundanes will tend to go more smoothly.

ETA: if they're older teens (16-17) I guess chaperoning could feel overbearing. LW should think about attending some protests not just for their children's sake, but to get a better idea of what tends to happen and maybe ask some of the organizers what safety tips they'd give.

[watersword]

They don't say explicitly that their kids are playing hooky to protest. They imply it, especially in the signature, but they don't actually say it, and I'm not sure the LWs pick their signatures.

[watersword]

A non-zero number of protests in New York City are on weekends or evenings (says a New Yorker who juggles activism and a day job). The Letter Writer could talk to their children about going to activist events that are not scheduled against their education (and about balancing activism against the other parts of their lives). There are Bystander Training events throughout the five boroughs that help people learn how to be activists in their everyday lives, and how to intervene and behave in charged situations. The options are not "go to protests, skip school" or "don't go to protests, get educated".

[redbird]

"Chaperone" seems like an odd phrasing, but depending on the children's ages, their parent's presence could reduce the chance of trouble with the police if the protest is during school hours. ("Teenage" could be as young as eighth grade, or a legal adult in their last few months of high school.)

There may not be school-chaperoned groups at protests, but I read about at least one protest that was organized and led by New York City high school students, and my girlfriend said that one of the students she tutored went to the Boston Women's March with her Girl Scout troop.

[adrian_turtle]

and my girlfriend said that one of the students she tutored went to the Boston Women's March with her Girl Scout troop.

The girl is 15 or 16. And, in case anybody has forgotten, that march was on a Saturday, so there was no conflict with school. The following weekend, one of my 14-year-old students went with her mother to the Sunday rally to support immigrants, organized by the Council on American Islamic Relations.

Neither of those involved skipping school. The large-scale marches in Boston and NYC are on evenings and weekends. City council meetings are in the evening. The OP does not seem to be thinking of the kind of protest that happens during week days (Standing Rock. Wisconsin State House. Chicago Teachers' Strike. That last involved students refusing to cross a picket line, if I remember correctly.) Boston City Council is planning a "Sanctuary Schools" policy, which will need support from students as well as teachers and administrators.

Something parents should definitely do, and teachers might also do, is teach students how to assess the risks of a march. (Or a parade or some other crowd.) If the mayor is giving a speech in support of the marchers, that's low risk. If military police come out in riot gear, that's high risk. Going alone increases risk. Going with friends, watching out for each other, and having a way to get home, all decrease risk.

[sathari]

Pretty much everyone's nailed this: there are protests and other events scheduled at times that don't conflict with school.

Something else, and maybe I'm getting tangential, but depending on the school they attend and the support they have from faculty and administration, getting some civics-related activities going in the school context might also be a good thing--- I'm thinking about stuff like getting their state and local elected officials or their surrogates to come in and speak to the students, or getting experienced lobbyists to come in and talk to the students about how best to communicate with your elected officials. (I mention this because I've been participating in some events, albeit those geared to adults, with related goals--- connecting with elected officials and how to talk to them effectively.) Not only is that positive and educationally oriented, it's flipping well exactly the kind of thing that everyone, regardless of political affiliation, needs to know--- and that if we had all been doing all along might have averted the current crisis (not only would those of us opposed to the policies of the current administration have been blessed well using our pens and phones when poor President Obama felt like he had no recourse but to use his, and telling our elected officials to support the man we voted into office and pass his legislation, but the subset of the current administration's base that mainly just wanted some kind of change might well have felt empowered to make it a little more incrementally all along, not to mention feeling less alienated from "establishment" politicians in general.) (Most of the ones I've been meeting, and their staffs, are really nice people even when we don't agree! I'm a total introvert and I like talking to these people!)

And on the flip side, I get such an "eeeek, protests!" vibe from the LW that I want to, like, introduce them to Rep. John Lewis or something? Or better still to some of the "rank and file" old hands at protesting that I've met, people who remember marching for civil rights and against Vietnam back in the day. Not to mention that at the marches/rallies/etc. I've attended, the police presence has been positive and supportive (and the groups I've been with have made a point to thank them for being there, keeping us safe, etc., which I can't think hurts, either!) and I haven't heard about violence at the ones I've been to. Maybe I just have a really warm and fuzzy local activist community and some awfully nice law enforcement in my area, IDEK.

And, last but not least, but OH HEAVENS, LW'S CHILDREN, I AM GLAD YOU'RE SHOWING UP. I am glad you care. I am glad you're interested and excited and engaged and that you CARE. Maybe you and your parent(s) need to brainstorm some ways for you to work that caring into your education (I gave some examples above and you can no doubt come up with other ones that are even better for your particular case)... but we need you. The world needs you. Thank you for being.

[wordweaverlynn]

Lots of good thoughts here, but I am wondering if the LW's race (or their children's) isn't also a factor. Harriette is a Black woman, and I wouldn't be surprised if the LW is too. Given the way the cops often interact with people of color, the risks of joining a protest march are considerably higher than they would be for white people.