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agonyaunt2023-08-05 09:10 pm
petrea_mitchell) wrote in agonyaunt2023-08-05 09:10 pm
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Ask Amy: My wife goes into slow motion any time we’re trying to make a flight
Dear Amy: My wife and I are lucky in semi-retirement to have a cabin in the mountains, a two-hour flight away. We visit this property about once a month.
We also take a two-week vacation in Europe each year.
The problem: I like to be at the airport with time to spare, so I don’t mind sitting for even an hour before boarding. My wife, on the other hand, loves to cut it close. It’s like she goes into slow motion at home the day of the flight.
She seems to find a million last-minute things to do. I always volunteer to help get them done.
We have missed one flight outright and at least three or four others each year are nail biters (we leave the luggage in the car in order to make the flight!).
We solved a monthly family gathering issue of how long to stay by taking separate cars. I can leave after two hours, she can stay four or five, but a solution to the flying issue eludes us.
One of us can’t really get on a plane without the other.
After the missed flight she did better for a time, but my nails are getting shorter again!
Your advice?
– Nail Biter
Dear Nail Biter: I’m getting anxious hives just reading about your wife’s behavior.
Three or four times a year you actually leave your luggage behind in order to run for the plane? Yikes.
You state that one of you cannot get on a plane without the other, but … why not?
If I were you, I would leave a day early for the cabin. Just book and take your own flight, get to the cabin (with your luggage!) and open up the house. If your wife misses her flight the next day, she misses it. More cabin for you.
This is a souped-up version of each taking their own transportation to family events (a move I heartily endorse).
An alternative to this is for you to get your own transportation to the airport within your comfort zone, enjoy your magazine at the gate, and if your wife races in and makes the plane, great. If not – she’ll have to sort it out on her own. Again – more cabin for you!
This solution does not cover your European trip, but if your wife experiences some nail-biters on her own, she might modify her behavior.
We also take a two-week vacation in Europe each year.
The problem: I like to be at the airport with time to spare, so I don’t mind sitting for even an hour before boarding. My wife, on the other hand, loves to cut it close. It’s like she goes into slow motion at home the day of the flight.
She seems to find a million last-minute things to do. I always volunteer to help get them done.
We have missed one flight outright and at least three or four others each year are nail biters (we leave the luggage in the car in order to make the flight!).
We solved a monthly family gathering issue of how long to stay by taking separate cars. I can leave after two hours, she can stay four or five, but a solution to the flying issue eludes us.
One of us can’t really get on a plane without the other.
After the missed flight she did better for a time, but my nails are getting shorter again!
Your advice?
– Nail Biter
Dear Nail Biter: I’m getting anxious hives just reading about your wife’s behavior.
Three or four times a year you actually leave your luggage behind in order to run for the plane? Yikes.
You state that one of you cannot get on a plane without the other, but … why not?
If I were you, I would leave a day early for the cabin. Just book and take your own flight, get to the cabin (with your luggage!) and open up the house. If your wife misses her flight the next day, she misses it. More cabin for you.
This is a souped-up version of each taking their own transportation to family events (a move I heartily endorse).
An alternative to this is for you to get your own transportation to the airport within your comfort zone, enjoy your magazine at the gate, and if your wife races in and makes the plane, great. If not – she’ll have to sort it out on her own. Again – more cabin for you!
This solution does not cover your European trip, but if your wife experiences some nail-biters on her own, she might modify her behavior.
no subject
It’s like she goes into slow motion at home the day of the flight.
LW, do you give your wife any real say in whether she goes to visit the cabin every single month?
One of us can’t really get on a plane without the other.
I'm guessing you don't. My guess is that she does not enjoy the monthly cabin trips and she's pushing back by cutting it close, which puts you on edge.
LW, you are basically spending at least one entire day (if not 2) travelling to and from your cabin (waiting 2+ hours in an airport, a 2 hour flight, plus however long it takes to drive to the cabin). 1 to 2 days a month is a lot of time spent in transit, especially if you're only staying 2-3 days each visit.
You and your wife found a compromise that lets you leave something you don't particularly enjoy but she does (the monthly family gatherings). So maybe it's time you compromise on these cabin trips. Either go by yourself, or cut back the cabin visits but stay longer to make the hassle of travelling worthwhile.