tielan: (don't make me shoot you)
tielan ([personal profile] tielan) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2017-01-11 12:26 am (UTC)

My first instinct is "I'm sorry, but women's lives do not revolve around you, dudebro; if they've struck up a relationship that is independent of you (although you might be the cause) then you're going to have to grow a pair of ovaries and fuckin' deal."

My second is "okay, so you're not talking to your ex: why not? What's the underlying readon? Does your mother know the ins and outs of why you're not talking? Have you discussed the situation with her without accusing her of disloyalty?"

And my third is "Talk to your mom about the new girlfriend. If mom is inclined to be unwelcoming, then warn the new gf. If she's going to reference how 'ex made a better gf' or some such, then warn the new gf. If she's going to be perfectly okay with the new gf because you're seeing her, then let the new gf know about that, too. Basically: your new gf needs you to back her up whatever happens - and that might mean dealing with your mother's snide comments if she doesn't like new gf vs old gf. Your job is not to get snippy with your mother, or with your ex, but to say firmly and calmly 'hey, this is my new gf and she has my loyalty, i ask you to treat her with respect.'"

Basically, there are a lot of factors behind it all. But my first instinct is that he's demanding his mom and his ex make him more emotionally comfortable by cutting off a connection that they feel towards each other. Which, yeah, mate, FUCK NO.

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