From Good Question (3/3)

[conuly]

Dear Annie: We live across the street from a married couple — man and woman — who have a 16-month-old girl. Every time they get her out of the car, no matter what the weather is, they have nothing on her head. Even when the temperature was in the teens, and another time when it was pouring rain, there was nothing on her head.

I'm 60. I raised three daughters and always covered their heads with some kind of toboggan hat, hood or rain gear when appropriate.

The couple's defense, I'm sure, would be that they're just going from the car and up about 20 steps to the house, but still, I think it's ridiculous. I'm not sure if I should say something to them or not. Should I? — Neighbor

Dear Neighbor: Assuming that they have a jacket on the 16-month-old and the girl does not seem in distress, i.e., freezing or crying uncontrollably, it's probably better not to say anything. Perhaps you could buy her a really nice hat and bring it over as a neighborly present. Maybe they would get the hint.

https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie/01/23/worried-about-neighbors-infant-5dadb

Comments

[conuly]

If I never have to hear another comment from the Biddy Brigade again, I can die happy.

LW should not, I repeat not, buy these people a hat for their child. As they said, the child is only going from the car to the house and vice versa. They're absolutely fine. LW should instead get a new hobby. Literally any hobby that gets them out of the house and gives them something to do other than criticizing the neighbors.

[raine]

Seconded!

[dine]

I instantly flashed on Mrs. Kravitz, peering through the curtains. LW needs to find a hobby other than spying on the neighbors through her front window

[shanaqui]

W...why the obsession with something being on this kid's head?

[conuly]

Some people are convinced, for cultural reasons, that every baby is just inches away from catching a chill and dying.

Right up until it's 95% out, then they're equally convinced that every baby is inches away from dying of heat stroke.

They're all convinced that the solution, in every case, is the same: MORE HATS.

[tielan]

That was my response EXACTLY.

And I live in a country where the UV is crazy and so is the weather.

[minoanmiss]

When my friend's kid was well into the I Will Pull Off Any And All Socks stage, she and I and kid were walking down the street and a woman walked up to us, said, "that baby needs some socks!" and walked away.

The kid is 22 and still has his feet, so I think he was okay.

[xenacryst]

You should absolutely say something. That way your neighbors will know exactly what kind of nosy busybody you are so that they can better make their plans to stay away from you.

[lilysea]

My first thought: some children have sensory issues and are distressed by hats.

[harpers_child]

My nephew is almost three and is convinced the only time it's appropriate to wear hats is when he's naked and wearing his dino galoshes. So LW could be having a completely different problem.

[p_cocincinus]

"I always covered their heads!" cries the 60-year-old woman who has completely forgotten the stage where children WILL NOT KEEP ANYTHING ON THEIR HEADS EVER. It's people like this who made me feel like I always needed to be really obviously carrying the article of clothing my daughter refused to wear so they wouldn't shame me. See, nosy neighbor! I have not forgotten to put a coat on her, she just refuses to wear it!

The parents are doing an excellent job and LW needs to take several seats.

[movingfinger]

I'm sure the child has twelve hats already and they're all under the front seat of the car.

[resonant]

I've been mulling this over, and this thing where older women want to give unwanted and annoying childrearing advice is so pervasive that I wonder whether it's a misdirection of an impulse to open communication or start a relationship?

It could explain why they seem to find the impulse so hard to resist, and why they seem so shocked and hurt when it's coldly received.

Frankly, I don't think anyone wants "wisdom" from anyone they don't already respect (and possibly not even from those they do) and if she wants to start getting to know her neighbors she'd do better with "Nice weather we've been having." And if she wants to drop off something no one has asked for, a safer bet might be cookies.

[conuly]

Could be worse. In my experience, when men do it they pretty universally just say that your child should not exist in public and neither should you.