Dear Abby: Tell People to Stop Blessing Me

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I suffer from severe seasonal allergies. I have watery eyes and sneeze during January and February every year. I went to an allergist last winter, but he couldn't do much for me.

As I struggle to get through my days as quietly as possible, every sneeze seemingly elicits a "God bless you" from some stranger. If I'm unable to acknowledge it, I often get a "Well, thank you!" or some other show of indignation.

Abby, I don't need "blessings." Calling attention to my difficulties, frankly, just annoys and embarrasses me. I am trying the best I can to be quiet and avoid disruption. Can you please ask your many readers to end this ancient, silly convention and let those of us with allergies suffer in peace? -- ATCHOO IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR ATCHOO: No. The "God bless you" convention originated in the Middle Ages. People thought that when someone sneezed the soul left the body for a minute, and would be snatched by the devil if someone didn't say "God bless you." Those who say it today may be doing it because it has become a conditioned reflex, or to be polite. Accept the kind gesture and kwitchurbitchin.

Comments

[nonethefewer]

Irritates the crap outta me too, but there's not really much to do about it, so, just accept it and move on, I suppose

*sneezes unironically*

[greenygal]

My sympathies are with the LW--I have periods of wretched coughing, and I am so grateful that there is no social convention (based on a superstition from the Middle Ages, so clearly we have to keep it around) that the people around me have to acknowledge it every time I cough. *shudder* And seriously, something that you didn't ask for and that people get mad when you don't graciously accept is not a kind gesture.

[deird1]

Do Americans really "acknowledge it" every time someone says "bless you" to them? I automatically say "bless you" when I hear someone sneeze, but I don't expect a response.

[ambyr]

I feel this is one of those things where it's certainly your right to be annoyed if you want, but you will live a much happier life if you learn not to be.

[eleanorjane]

Hah. I have not much sympathy for the LW, I must admit, because this sounds all too familiar. My ex-partner hated being blessed -- "you're not a priest!" he'd point out, as though that were the point (or as though priests are the only people who have a right to bless people? I dunno). He hated the reflexive meaningless nature of it, and refused to accept that there are illogical things humans do in their social interactions.

It is such a relief to be able to say "bless you" to people again without having him in the background glaring at me. :)

Though to be fair, I can see from the LW's PoV it'd suck to have to constantly respond at a point when all you want is to stop sneezing. People who get shirty about a lack of acknowledgement need better manners.

[sathari]

This is tangential, but the version of it I hate is that as a serial sneezer, I get the people who repeatedly say "Bless you" after each sneeze--- in a way that clearly indicates that you're not doing it as a polite gesture, you're making fun of my multiple sneezes and deliberately drawing attention to my "weird" behavior (that is totally involuntary and not my fault). Just, please, if you're reading this, the next time you run into a serial sneezer, be kind and wait until we're done?

[jadelennox]

And thanks to this post I have found the responses to sneezing in languages chart, which I LOVE.