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agonyaunt2022-11-28 11:54 am
petrea_mitchell) wrote in agonyaunt2022-11-28 11:54 am
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Ask a Manager: Update: My employee is freezing out a manager after he joked about King Charles
AAM has an update to a letter previously posted here, "My employee is freezing out a manager after he joked about King Charles".
The update:
Thanks so much for publishing my letter! I read the comments but didn’t participate. I know more about the British monarchy than I ever thought I would, so that is a plus!
I took your advice and talked to Kate directly. She said the King Charles comment was “the straw that broke the camel’s back” and she has a “personality conflict” with William. Right now, the two admin work for our department equally. Kate requested we structure this so each admin reports to 3 managers and she is not assigned to William.
I told her I would take this under consideration and asked everybody else what they thought. The other managers were negative to neutral about this idea. William pulled me aside later that day and said that he does indeed had a personality conflict with Kate but he didn’t think it would get this bad. William’s perspective is that Kate “mothers” him in a way that makes him uncomfortable. Some examples he gave were things like asking him where his jacket was when it’s cold out or telling him to drive safe when he’s going off site. William noted that she does not make these comments generally, just to him, and it feels awkward and infantilizing. He responded to them by either ignoring her or changing the subject, but always felt he was appropriate when they communicated about their actual job.
After more consideration and some input from other managers about what they don’t like about assigning admin, I spoke to Kate directly again and said we are unable to assign administrative assistants to specific managers and she will need to find a way to work with William. Kate said she will work with William as long as he is “respectful.” I told Kate to focus on just work with William and to avoid personal conversation because clearly they do not mesh well.
Really hoping I do not have another update for you because everybody smoothes this out!
The update:
Thanks so much for publishing my letter! I read the comments but didn’t participate. I know more about the British monarchy than I ever thought I would, so that is a plus!
I took your advice and talked to Kate directly. She said the King Charles comment was “the straw that broke the camel’s back” and she has a “personality conflict” with William. Right now, the two admin work for our department equally. Kate requested we structure this so each admin reports to 3 managers and she is not assigned to William.
I told her I would take this under consideration and asked everybody else what they thought. The other managers were negative to neutral about this idea. William pulled me aside later that day and said that he does indeed had a personality conflict with Kate but he didn’t think it would get this bad. William’s perspective is that Kate “mothers” him in a way that makes him uncomfortable. Some examples he gave were things like asking him where his jacket was when it’s cold out or telling him to drive safe when he’s going off site. William noted that she does not make these comments generally, just to him, and it feels awkward and infantilizing. He responded to them by either ignoring her or changing the subject, but always felt he was appropriate when they communicated about their actual job.
After more consideration and some input from other managers about what they don’t like about assigning admin, I spoke to Kate directly again and said we are unable to assign administrative assistants to specific managers and she will need to find a way to work with William. Kate said she will work with William as long as he is “respectful.” I told Kate to focus on just work with William and to avoid personal conversation because clearly they do not mesh well.
Really hoping I do not have another update for you because everybody smoothes this out!