If "Let's teach the kids about puberty before they magically become ready for the information on their 12th birthday" is causing "a huge rift" between LW1 and husband, then LW1 has a huge husband problem. The words "huge rift" suggest that the husband is putting a level of passion into his extremely wrong plan that's worrisome -- strong feelings + irrationality on the subject of sex is a gift that's going to keep on giving. I think the two of them need, at a minimum, an adults-only conversation with the kids' pediatrician to get them started.

As a person who was put on her first diet at the age of 7, I found the second letter almost impossible to read. For crying out loud, when your kid says he's hungry, don't "redirect." Give him something to eat, or better yet have a fun family time making something to eat together, without counting grams of anything.