Hey Michelle, unchecked bullying and ridicule, and *definitely* hate speech, doesn't only harm the primary target. It also harms everyone else who has to listen. LW's son may have been sticking up for Anna, but he was also sticking up for the whole classroom and everyone in the classroom. Possibly he was even sticking up for a particular friend with an invisible disability that Sean didn't even know was also being hit. Possibly he was sticking up for himself.
The question you should be asking is why your son thought punching was a suitable response. Had adults been allowing this to go unchecked? Did he have evidence that other approaches wouldn't work? Had Sean been bullying other people as well? Was punching a useful response, did it work to prevent the hate speech from continuing? Have that discussion with him, and be ready to engage honestly with his answers.
If he picked up that punching is the correct first response to hate speech and he punched the kid right away with no other provocation and no opportunity for any other intervention to happen, maybe he needs some lessons in history and strategies of nonviolent resistance. But I strongly suspect he'd been watching the teachers let Sean get away with this for awhile, in which case he had evidence that nonviolent resistance was unlikely to be effective. At some point you do have to just punch the asshole who's bullying your friend, and the correct response is to make sure he knows how to punch safely for next time.
(Also he's 12. It's possible he just really wanted to punch someone just once and thought he'd finally found his chance. If that turns out to be the case, sign him up for kickboxing or something.)
no subject
The question you should be asking is why your son thought punching was a suitable response. Had adults been allowing this to go unchecked? Did he have evidence that other approaches wouldn't work? Had Sean been bullying other people as well? Was punching a useful response, did it work to prevent the hate speech from continuing? Have that discussion with him, and be ready to engage honestly with his answers.
If he picked up that punching is the correct first response to hate speech and he punched the kid right away with no other provocation and no opportunity for any other intervention to happen, maybe he needs some lessons in history and strategies of nonviolent resistance. But I strongly suspect he'd been watching the teachers let Sean get away with this for awhile, in which case he had evidence that nonviolent resistance was unlikely to be effective. At some point you do have to just punch the asshole who's bullying your friend, and the correct response is to make sure he knows how to punch safely for next time.
(Also he's 12. It's possible he just really wanted to punch someone just once and thought he'd finally found his chance. If that turns out to be the case, sign him up for kickboxing or something.)