conuly: (Default)
conuly ([personal profile] conuly) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2022-09-19 01:27 am

(no subject)

DEAR ABBY: I have known my friend "Aaron" since first grade. Our relationship hasn't been the same since COVID broke out. He hardly ever connects with me unless it's on social media. He refuses to get together with anyone or leave his house.

Things haven't been easy for him because he lives alone. He used to live with his brother, but since his brother's death a few years ago, Aaron hasn't been the same. I'm upset with him because instead of telling me, he told my best friend about his brother's death. When we discussed trying to get together again, he initially said he wanted to wait until the stay-at-home order was lifted. When that finally happened, he announced he didn't want to get together until COVID had died down and it was considered safe.

Abby, I feel hurt and betrayed. I understand Aaron's concerns about COVID and the risks involved, but I don't like being lied to. I feel he deceived me by telling me one thing but really meaning another. I think he should have been upfront and honest with me from the start.

I value our friendship, so I'm not willing to throw it away just yet. Aaron is no longer talking to me, and our relationship is ruined. Am I wrong to feel this way? I'm unsure about what steps to take next. -- HURT GUY IN MICHIGAN


DEAR HURT GUY: You didn't mention whether Aaron is socializing again with others. It's possible that since his brother's passing he has realized how fragile and unpredictable life can be, and is taking every precaution. I think it would be healthier for you if you stop obsessing about him and begin forming other friendships. If Aaron is no longer talking to you, the "steps" you should take are in the opposite direction.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearabby/s-2724356
ashbet: (Default)

[personal profile] ashbet 2022-09-19 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, my plans/behaviors/socializing have evolved as Covid variants occurred, friends around me got sick, etc.

(I’m immunocompromised and have to be very cautious, my little in-person time with friends is affected by whether or not they’re taking similar precautions, and I’m sure some ppl are mad bc I’m willing to take some risks but not others, and it’s not actually their business that I’m choosing to prioritize seeing my long-distance partner, after going over 2 years without so much as getting to hold hands.)

People get to choose their risk tolerance, and folks who are isolating aren’t doing it AT them.
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)

[personal profile] redbird 2022-09-19 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Aaron may have medical issues that either the LW isn't aware of, or that they didn't mention here. I relaxed my own precautions significantly after getting two doses of the Moderna vaccine. I started being a lot more cautious when I discovered a few months later that I had no measurable antibodies to covid.

More people know about my autoimmune disease, than know that my current MS treatment makes vaccines less effective.