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DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When my son locked his daughter out of the house after she became pregnant before she was 17, it broke my heart. My husband and I tried to come to the defense of our granddaughter, but her dad would have none of it. The things he said to us about her were horrible, and if he said the same things to her, I can’t even imagine how crushed she felt.
Long story short, we took our granddaughter in, and have given a home to her and our great-grandson for five years. We are so proud of our granddaughter and all she’s accomplished since her father turned his back on her. She first got her GED and then an associates and now works as a medical assistant while she works towards her nursing degree.
She has always been a good kid, and just because she made one stupid mistake when she was still in high school, her father has turned against her. No matter what we do to try and help them reconcile, he turns our efforts away, saying he’ll have nothing ever to do with his daughter and her “brat.”
Is it worth our continuing trying to make peace between them, or do we just let it go and hope and pray for the best? --- TO TRY OR NOT TO TRY
DEAR TO TRY OR NOT TO TRY: Perhaps it would be best to take a break from what’s a frustrating and unproductive effort and just enjoy being in the lives of your granddaughter and great-grandson.
If your son is inclined to be the sort of person who responds to attempts at persuasion by shutting down or becoming more committed to his point of view, there’s little to be accomplished by pushing what to him continues to be a painful subject; and his bitterness and anger are not going to help anyone.
As hard as it is on those he’s banished from his life, sadly he’s the one missing out on irreplaceable lifetime experiences.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/ask-someone-elses-mom/2022/09/02
Long story short, we took our granddaughter in, and have given a home to her and our great-grandson for five years. We are so proud of our granddaughter and all she’s accomplished since her father turned his back on her. She first got her GED and then an associates and now works as a medical assistant while she works towards her nursing degree.
She has always been a good kid, and just because she made one stupid mistake when she was still in high school, her father has turned against her. No matter what we do to try and help them reconcile, he turns our efforts away, saying he’ll have nothing ever to do with his daughter and her “brat.”
Is it worth our continuing trying to make peace between them, or do we just let it go and hope and pray for the best? --- TO TRY OR NOT TO TRY
DEAR TO TRY OR NOT TO TRY: Perhaps it would be best to take a break from what’s a frustrating and unproductive effort and just enjoy being in the lives of your granddaughter and great-grandson.
If your son is inclined to be the sort of person who responds to attempts at persuasion by shutting down or becoming more committed to his point of view, there’s little to be accomplished by pushing what to him continues to be a painful subject; and his bitterness and anger are not going to help anyone.
As hard as it is on those he’s banished from his life, sadly he’s the one missing out on irreplaceable lifetime experiences.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/ask-someone-elses-mom/2022/09/02
no subject
Except...it's not. Granddaughter had premarital sex, hopefully consensually and knowing what she was doing but quite possibly not, and if birth control was used, it failed. Son kicked his child out of her home at a time when she most needed parental help, putting his unborn grandchild at risk as well. The two are not remotely equivalent misdeeds, and any religion that says the granddaughter was the greater sinner is not a religion I'm willing to practice.