Calling it "distasteful" makes sense to me, even if it's not the word I'd choose; the LW is suggesting shaping their decisions in large part around just waiting for someone to die -- someone they supposedly care about. That breeds resentment on both sides, and I can't see how it would ever be a good idea for the relationship, if nothing else. There's a reason that hanging around waiting for an inheritance is a trope of mystery novels.
Don't get me wrong, in some cases that's all you can get out of a relationship. I'm not sure that I'd hang around waiting for someone to die if I had other choices like moving to a bigger place in Maine, but in some cases that's all you've got. But in this case, it's supposedly framed as a relationship in which they care, so... hm.
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Calling it "distasteful" makes sense to me, even if it's not the word I'd choose; the LW is suggesting shaping their decisions in large part around just waiting for someone to die -- someone they supposedly care about. That breeds resentment on both sides, and I can't see how it would ever be a good idea for the relationship, if nothing else. There's a reason that hanging around waiting for an inheritance is a trope of mystery novels.
Don't get me wrong, in some cases that's all you can get out of a relationship. I'm not sure that I'd hang around waiting for someone to die if I had other choices like moving to a bigger place in Maine, but in some cases that's all you've got. But in this case, it's supposedly framed as a relationship in which they care, so... hm.