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Sense and Sensitivity: My Husband Wants to Dress Me
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband surprised me with a dress to wear out on our anniversary. I was surprised by this gesture and wore the dress proudly. I thought this would be a one-time thing. Now, my husband wants to dress me or gives his not-always-positive input on my outfits. I took his first gesture as a fun way to connect, but now I'm regretting opening this door. How can I ask my husband to step back and to stop buying me the clothing he wants me to wear? -- Fashion Emergency, Shreveport, Louisiana
DEAR FASHION EMERGENCY: Clearly, your husband is trying to send you a message. Before you say anything, do a visual review of what he has bought for you and what you have chosen for yourself. Figure out what the difference is between the two wardrobes and if there is anything that you like about his choices. This does not mean that you should feel OK about him putting down your choices. This may also be a fun way for you to connect with each other that sparks some youthful romance.
Feel free to tell him that while you enjoy dressing up for him, you want to take back the control of your wardrobe. Soften the blow by asking him what excites him in wardrobe choices so that you can sprinkle some of those features into your outfits.
DEAR FASHION EMERGENCY: Clearly, your husband is trying to send you a message. Before you say anything, do a visual review of what he has bought for you and what you have chosen for yourself. Figure out what the difference is between the two wardrobes and if there is anything that you like about his choices. This does not mean that you should feel OK about him putting down your choices. This may also be a fun way for you to connect with each other that sparks some youthful romance.
Feel free to tell him that while you enjoy dressing up for him, you want to take back the control of your wardrobe. Soften the blow by asking him what excites him in wardrobe choices so that you can sprinkle some of those features into your outfits.
no subject
I can understand going "augh no direct conflict! uncomfortable!"? But the whole, it's not even ON THE RADAR . . . . if you are confused you have already proven you cannot derive their intention from silent signals! THIS IS WHY WE INVENTED WORDS?
And yeah no I have seriously learned not to underestimate the ability of people NOT TO SEE that, say, their "suggestions" and "opinions" come off as hypercritical or controlling even when that's genuinely not their intent. Especially men, but I think that's just the usual "we fail at socializing boys to be sensitive of other people's perspectives" problem, because gods know I've met some women and some who accept neither classification who are just as bad!