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Q. I’d take a gift card: My sister and I have an otherwise good relationship, but she is a terrible gift-giver. When her birthday or a special occasion rolls around, I try to give her thoughtful, useful gifts. For my last birthday, she sent me a butt plug as a “gag gift.” She has consistently sent me similarly unfunny/raunchy “gag gifts” that, quite frankly, are embarrassing to receive. Beyond it being gauche, I never use these gifts, and I can’t exactly give them to someone else.
I’ve tried subtle methods to get her to stop, like hinting at gifts I might prefer. At one point I tried to be more direct and asked her point-blank to stop, but she kind of shrugged it off. How do I get her to reconsider the “gifts” she sends me? My birthday is coming up and I don’t want to have to unwrap another piece of junk.
A: This is neither here nor there, but from the cursory research I did on a work computer on a public network, it seems that butt plugs are not inexpensive. Your sister is really doing a lot for a joke that’s not landing. If she is shrugging off the boundary you set, see if she’ll respond to a “no gifts” policy. Tell her you don’t want to exchange gifts anymore. You can say that it’s because of the gag gifts or keep it light by just suggesting you’d rather plan experiences together than trade things back and forth. Either way, make it clear to her that you’re not accepting gifts for your upcoming birthday. If she brings you one anyway, you’re under no obligation to open it and should, instead, just give it right back. “Oh, remember, we’re not doing gifts anymore. Thank you, though. I hope you can return it!”
https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/04/sister-raunchy-gag-gifts-dear-prudence-advice.html
I’ve tried subtle methods to get her to stop, like hinting at gifts I might prefer. At one point I tried to be more direct and asked her point-blank to stop, but she kind of shrugged it off. How do I get her to reconsider the “gifts” she sends me? My birthday is coming up and I don’t want to have to unwrap another piece of junk.
A: This is neither here nor there, but from the cursory research I did on a work computer on a public network, it seems that butt plugs are not inexpensive. Your sister is really doing a lot for a joke that’s not landing. If she is shrugging off the boundary you set, see if she’ll respond to a “no gifts” policy. Tell her you don’t want to exchange gifts anymore. You can say that it’s because of the gag gifts or keep it light by just suggesting you’d rather plan experiences together than trade things back and forth. Either way, make it clear to her that you’re not accepting gifts for your upcoming birthday. If she brings you one anyway, you’re under no obligation to open it and should, instead, just give it right back. “Oh, remember, we’re not doing gifts anymore. Thank you, though. I hope you can return it!”
https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/04/sister-raunchy-gag-gifts-dear-prudence-advice.html
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To be fair, I don't think you have to expect someone to be able to read your mind for this one!
"Don't give your siblings butt plugs/sex toys unless they explicitly ask for them" is a pretty common social norm!
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