And sometimes there's no way to SOLVE the "A cannot drive, B lives an hour away", at least not completely? Or that for C due to disability lives with stricter limitations than A, B or D and so stuff has to work around that. But at least if it's out in the open you can do what you CAN, and you can make it so nobody feels like they're just being negligently taken for granted, etc etc.
Yup. And that is exactly how it did not go down in the situation I was thinking of.
There were good reasons why we (I was D, and gave C lifts to A's place) arranged things the way they did, but what it all amounted to was that all the inconvenience and work and expense landed on B, and compounded with other stuff about how he felt sidelined and unappreciated.
Balance and communication are important in general, and even more so when there's other interpersonal/emotional stuff going on too. And whatever else is going on in LW's relationship, it does seem like they, as a couple, are not communicating explicitly about how they balance the relationship.
And also it seems like LW is writing to Abby for a referee rather than advice. Which might mean "I need a reality check on whether this is fair or not, because I'm getting bad gut feelings about this but don't have a concrete rationale for what's wrong," and that's a good reason to write in for advice. But it could also, and often does, mean "I want to use an advice columnist as a club to wave at my partner."
no subject
Yup. And that is exactly how it did not go down in the situation I was thinking of.
There were good reasons why we (I was D, and gave C lifts to A's place) arranged things the way they did, but what it all amounted to was that all the inconvenience and work and expense landed on B, and compounded with other stuff about how he felt sidelined and unappreciated.
Balance and communication are important in general, and even more so when there's other interpersonal/emotional stuff going on too. And whatever else is going on in LW's relationship, it does seem like they, as a couple, are not communicating explicitly about how they balance the relationship.
And also it seems like LW is writing to Abby for a referee rather than advice. Which might mean "I need a reality check on whether this is fair or not, because I'm getting bad gut feelings about this but don't have a concrete rationale for what's wrong," and that's a good reason to write in for advice. But it could also, and often does, mean "I want to use an advice columnist as a club to wave at my partner."