Dear Prudence: Can I Sue My Estranged RElative's Employer?

[minoanmiss]

Dear Prudence,

I recently found a note that said one of my family members who has done a super job of avoiding me for many, many years is alive and well! Not only is she well, but she has a job. The job is in health care in an office where I used to be a patient of their doctor. Do I have the right to sue? I would never have consented to a member of my family partaking in my care.

—Repeatedly Misled

Dear Repeatedly Misled,

I don’t want to keep you from a legal victory so, by all means, take advantage of a free consultation with an attorney. But I am about 99 percent sure this is not going to work out. And that’s OK. Spending some time dealing with and processing the pain of being avoided and ignored for so many years will leave you feeling better than a lawsuit ever could.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

Dear LW: Unless she took the job knowingly to get at your medical records (which would make the doctor's office an unknowing patsy), you are being an asshole. And I'm pretty sure you'd've told us if you thought [you had reason to think] she did or that the doctor's office had been pre-warned to avoid her. So. I can't imagine why anyone would avoid you.

[redbird]

I'd be astonished if there was the basis for a lawsuit: doctors don't generally give patients a list of employees who might be involved in their care, and they aren't expected to.

It doesn't even look as though the LW had told their doctor "if so-and-so is working there, I don't want her involved in my care," which might have made a difference here, though I doubt it.

[ashbet]

Wow — please refer this person to a therapist, not an attorney!

o___O

[dine]

LW sounds like someone I'd strive to avoid too!

and even if relative's hiring for that job somehow overlapped with LW's time there as a patient ("used to be"), it's fairly unlikely they'd be rooting through files looking for family members. mostly, people are too busy actually *working* at their jobs

[mommy]

It looks like this estranged relative probably has good reason to avoid LW if this letter is any indication.

[azurelunatic]

You know, the normal person reaction to learning that a relative who you have assumed to be dead for many years due to complete lack of contact is in fact alive is, "Oh, thank goodness, they're alive!"

[conuly]

Somebody ought to let this hapless relative know that LW is gunning for them, again, and now knows where they work.

[cereta]

I am trying to imagine what possible grounds for a lawsuit LW even thinks they have, but it's a bit like trying to sculpt with tapioca pudding.

[ioplokon]

This doesn't seem to be LW's situation, but I'm curious what would happen if you had a restraining order against someone & then incidentally ended up at their work. Does the employer have responsibility to ensure some level of separation?

[laurajv]

Usually, the person who has the restraining order against them provides the court with a list of places they need to be (their residence, place of employment, etc) and the petitioner isn't _disallowed_ from those places but should stay away from them unless they ALSO have a need to be there.

The employer doesn't have any obligation, I don't think, although that might vary by jurisdiction. (In the US anyway, so many things are at the state level.)

[laurajv]

I desperately want to take the relative out for tea and find out the details. I also do not want to get any closer to LW than I already am.