(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in an apartment building and whenever I see someone (especially when waiting for the elevator), I say hello, good morning, good evening, etc. My parents were adamant about manners, and I was raised to greet people and acknowledge them. I do this automatically, even when I'm not aware of it.

I recently had an episode where a neighbor, who has made it apparent that he and his girlfriend don't care for me, has asked me to stop greeting either of them whenever I see them. When I asked why, he said that I was pushing the boundaries of being a good neighbor. I'd never heard of this, and have no idea if I should respond as requested or just laugh it off (which I did when I thought of it).

As I run into them a few times a week, do you have any suggestions?

GENTLE READER: Swyize. This is Miss Manners' alternative to the ever-popular "smize." While the latter means to "smile with your eyes," Miss Manners' version means to smile without them.

You may greet your neighbors thus whenever you see them, signifying that you have heard their unneighborly request and will abide by it -- but not ungrudgingly so.

https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2022/01/01/1

Comments

[redbird]

When we lived in an apartment building in New York City, we did greet our neighbors, a hello or a quick smile,while waiting for the elevator, and that might lead to a bit of conversation. We also sometimes talked to people in the park across the street, things like telling a dog walker to avoid a specific path because we'd seen a skunk, or someone asking if I could identify a bird for them. But if I'd known, or believed, that a specific neighbor didn't like me, I would have left them alone.

It would not have occurred to me to ask "is it rude to keep greeting someone who has explicitly asked me to leave them alone?" This isn't a relative they're going to see at family get-togethers, it's someone who just happens to live in the same building.