Miss Manners: Can I plan ahead for leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner with my daughter’s in-laws?

[ermingarden]

Dear Miss Manners: I'm invited to Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws of my daughter. Is it rude to take my own to-go container to bring home leftovers?

And a burlap bag in which to take home the silverware when they are finished using it?

Comments

[melannen]

Yes, at large family events like Thanksgiving my mother has been known to not just bring empty containers for leftovers, but to bring enough for everyone at the meal to take a couple! She does, however, not bring them out until the question comes up naturally.

(I think there's also a difference in how the meals are done though - in both sides of my family, even if the hosts are doing the majority of the cooking, everybody brings at least one side or dessert. So Mom can also go "I brought containers in case anyone else wanted to take home some of the pie I brought" to start the conversation. If the hosts were doing all the cooking and providing all the food, it might be different.)

(Mom is also known to buy a dish in the host's china pattern to bring her contribution in so she can leave it with them and it'll match, but I think that's just a Mom thing.)

[tielan]

Yes, at large family events like Thanksgiving my mother has been known to not just bring empty containers for leftovers, but to bring enough for everyone at the meal to take a couple! She does, however, not bring them out until the question comes up naturally.

Yes, we do this, too. (For Christmas, b/c we don't have Thanksgiving.) Containers in a bag that gets left with our purses, and when the leftovers are offered (they're always offered; we have oodles of food because everyone brings a plate like their dish is the Only Thing That Is Going To Be On Offer For Lunch) then we have our own containers and no need for extra plastic.

[likeaduck]

(Mom is also known to buy a dish in the host's china pattern to bring her contribution in so she can leave it with them and it'll match, but I think that's just a Mom thing.)

Wow.

[melannen]

I may have overstated that: mom has a list of everyone's china patterns in her purse and if she sees yours at Goodwill or the community flea market she will buy it.

It's just that if she finds one that's a serving dish, you specifically get it full the next time you host, instead of passed to you in a cardboard box in a parking lot at random intervals like it's some kind of contraband.

[likeaduck]

I maintain my "wow". That's such a specific kind of trying to be thoughtful/helpful/generous.

[lemonsharks]

That is an amazing idea and completely eliminated the "I want my dish back" dance