Dear Abby: Family member really, really doesn't like kids

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law (age 75) apparently doesn't like kids. He and my sister are childless. He just told my husband that what he doesn't like about our family gatherings is the attention everyone shows my two granddaughters. (They are 7 and 8.) At a recent gathering, he actually threw down game pieces and stomped off when they approached. Should I sever contact with my sister and him? I know if I tell my son about this, my son will cut ties with them. What parent forces their children on anyone who doesn't like them? Your advice might help. -- FAMILY GAL IN ALABAMA

DEAR FAMILY GAL: Not everyone relates well to kids. That said, your brother-in-law's behavior was appalling. Have a private talk with your sister. Could he be entering a second childhood? Knowing how he feels about children, if you wish to see him and your sister, consider socializing with them separately. If other family members with children invite them to anything other than an adults-only gathering, Sissy and her hubby should politely offer their regrets.

Comments

[lilysea]

eeeesh.

I find it quite stressful to be around children under 10 because

loud/high pitched shouting/screaming/crying = migraine trigger

touching me without asking = bad for chronic pain and PTSD

lots of quick random movement can be bad for PTSD

and I think brother-in-law (age 75) is being a dick.

The appropriate thing is to POLITELY excuse yourself to go elsewhere, and/or politely say "please don't touch me"

[ellen_fremedon]

Or just don't come to events if you know the kids will be there and you're not up to dealing with them. I also find kids really stressful to interact with, and I don't go places where I'll have to do that unless I know I have the spoons for it.