Dear Abby: Family member really, really doesn't like kids

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law (age 75) apparently doesn't like kids. He and my sister are childless. He just told my husband that what he doesn't like about our family gatherings is the attention everyone shows my two granddaughters. (They are 7 and 8.) At a recent gathering, he actually threw down game pieces and stomped off when they approached. Should I sever contact with my sister and him? I know if I tell my son about this, my son will cut ties with them. What parent forces their children on anyone who doesn't like them? Your advice might help. -- FAMILY GAL IN ALABAMA

DEAR FAMILY GAL: Not everyone relates well to kids. That said, your brother-in-law's behavior was appalling. Have a private talk with your sister. Could he be entering a second childhood? Knowing how he feels about children, if you wish to see him and your sister, consider socializing with them separately. If other family members with children invite them to anything other than an adults-only gathering, Sissy and her hubby should politely offer their regrets.

Comments

[julian]

Second childhood? Pfeh.

This "I will sever ties at the drop of a hat" thing is confusing, though.

Dear people: Invite your BIL-and-sister to things without kids sometimes.

But also, your b-i-l should at least behave politely to the grand-kids. I don't like everyone in the world, and I do try and avoid extensive contact with some people, but if they're at a thing I'm at, I'm polite. (And avoid them when possible.) It's not like it needs to be a Big Thing.

[heavenscalyx]

That read to me as Missing Reasons. Possibly, he’s not just a dick to the kids.

[julian]

Oh, yah. Thank you, that would make... any sense at all out of it.

[cereta]

Yeah, and in the reverse of what I said above, "Is mean to children" is something people will get behind, whereas "jokes about lawyer not being rich" are harder to draw lines around.

[xenacryst]

Indeed. Reading the letter I felt like I read the first half of the first sentence of a long novel and the middle half of some random sentence two thirds of the way through. Like, there was way more not there than there was there. The not there was so thick I couldn't even see the there.

[julian]

I think I had problems noticing that this time because usually, there's this sentence like, "My brother-in-law apparently doesn't like kids. Also, because of [mysterious] other things that have happened [that I won't go into here but will Comment Meaningfully And Mysteriously About], I have issues with him. Should we cut contact?"

[xenacryst]

:giggle: I think that's actually exactly why I noticed it - it threw me out of the story completely and gave me whiplash.

[harpers_child]

I read the "sever ties" thing as this being the latest in a long string of questionable behavior. A straw on a camel's back.

[torachan]

I mean, not liking kids is fine and normal, but throwing things and stomping around and throwing a tantrum because children exist in your vicinity is just being an asshole. He's probably an asshole in other areas of life as well, and even if he isn't, it's okay to not want grown adults in your life who throw tantrums.