"what the hell am I supposed to do?" About sums it up

[lemonsharks]

Dear Amy: My 27-year-old grandson, who is getting married, called me up screaming at the top of his lungs saying I was a Republican and Nazi, that I am dead to him and to “F-off” — all because his grandfather (my husband) asked our daughter (his mother) if they got vaccinated.

This was a concern because we are flying across the country and I am supposed to officiate his wedding. Plus, his grandpa is very concerned for them. He told me he wasn’t putting poison in his blood for our peace of mind.

What the Hell am I supposed to do?

I tried calming him down to explain, but his rage was beyond any reasoning.

As of now we will still be going, but not attending the wedding.

My daughter acts like this is normal behavior and he’ll come around.

I don’t know if I will.

– Grandma H

Dear Grandma: Who talks like this? Who talks like this to his own grandmother?

If I were you, I wouldn’t wait for him to “come around.” Everything else aside, his rage does not make him a safe person to be around. Rebook your trip to a more pleasant destination.

Comments

[lemonsharks]

I would suggest "boycott the wedding"

I certainly hope someone vaccinates the grandson's kids if he has them. With or without his permission.

[mommy]

I suppose that the wedding is off until the grandson can find someone else to officiate his wedding.

[ashbet]

I'm not going to rule out that the grandparent may BE a Republican and a Nazi, but they appear to have the right idea with vaccination!

(Also, the grandson sounds like he could use some anger-management/mental-health help. And a COVID vaccine.)

[laurajv]

*cocks head*

maybe it's me, but something about this letter seems off.

[melannen]

I had to read the letter about three times to figure out it was grandson who was the anti-vaxxer, not grandpa (I'm still not entirely sure!)

[laurajv]

I think you are right, and also that heavenscalyx is probably right that the grandparents are Republicans but not GQP, while the grandson is Libertarian-Q. It almost makes sense when looked at that way.

[lemonsharks]

Is it possible that the LW doesn't realize "Republican" is an insult?

[adrian_turtle]

Yeah, me too. It only makes sense if the grandson has redefined "Republican" to mean "authoritarian control freak" without regard to the direction of the control. A lot of people already think of "Nazi" as simply meaning "bad person."

The grandson still has problems with rage and self-control, and clearly does not want anything to do with his grandparents. Thus, his grandparents should not go to the wedding. (Even if their own vaccination and masking makes them feel safe from covid under the circumstances of the wedding.) The question is how much of a relationship they want to have with their daughter? Does she think its "normal behavior" for brides and grooms to say appalling things to their relatives in the course of wedding planning? Is she counting this like "How dare you tell me I shouldn't wear a sleeveless wedding dress! You're a monster and I never want to speak to you again!"

[heavenscalyx]

This reads like perhaps grandparents may be Republican but they aren’t part of the cult, while grandson is a QAnon cultist probably-libertarian type who has been whipped up to insane levels by someone (wife? buddies?) and got aimed at grandparents. Let him find someone else to officiate, LW, and stay home hunkered down for the surge. Your daughter can take the aggro firehose which will inevitably come her way.

[azurelunatic]

This is not a person to be in the same state with.

The person to talk to in this instance is probably your daughter. Maybe she can shed some light on what kind of information your grandson has been taking in, and from whom. You can share your concerns, and you can express a boundary that as long as he is unvaccinated, you will not be in his presence, and as long as he is screaming insults at you, you will not be in his presence.

[minoanmiss]

Thiz whole pandemic has made me glad I'm an only child from a culture that values education, NGL.

[conuly]

Wait - Adult Grandson accused them of being Republicans because they are vaccinated?

[torachan]

Yeah, that definitely gave me pause. Of course there are non-Republican anti-vaxers, but even they would surely be aware that Republicans as a whole are hardly pro-vaccine...

[cimorene]

It's really weird, but why would a fake letter be made up with THAT circumstance?

[torachan]

I don't know! It's so weird, though.

[green_grrl]

There was a significantly large group of crunchy granola new-age parents who bought into the anti-vax propaganda re: routine children’s vaccinations, who would have knee-jerk called the other side R/Nazi, as in fascist school board control freaks. I don’t know how much overlap there is between that group and the anti Covid vax crowd, though. (And I tend to picture the spittle-spewing screamers as more the Q side.)

[lemonsharks]

That's where my brain went -- ime the crunchy leftist antivax polio-lovers also reject the covid vax.

[mirlacca]

... unless, of course, we've got this backwards, and SIL took the inquiry as "What do you mean you fools got vaccinated? Don't you know that makes you tools of the Democratic Establishment?"