Thermostat wars

[lemonsharks]

_Dear Amy: My partner and I are two middle-age men that met each other later in life.

One of us (me) loves air conditioning, especially since most of the places I’ve lived in my life lacked it. My partner doesn’t like air conditioning, and only uses it when it’s blistering hot outside.

When I moved into his house, I paid for the installation of central air conditioning. He paid for the solar panels on the roof, which more than covers the electricity we use.

But we seem to fight constantly over the thermostat setting. He’s cold when I set it to my preferred temperature, I’m hot when he sets it to his.

I say it’s easier for him to throw on a flannel shirt and a pair of sweatpants than it is for me to suffer the indignity of walking around the house in my underwear.

It seems a bit petty to complain about it, since otherwise we are very compatible, but we can’t seem to find a happy place in this conflict.


Can you think of an equitable way to solve this problem?

– Sweating in San Diego_

Dear Sweating: People who heat their homes during the winter tend to keep their indoor temperature between 68 and 72 degrees (unless you are my sister, who tells all visitors to her Maine home to keep on their down jackets).


However, if you set your air conditioner at a wintertime comfy 68 to ,70 degrees, you’d be quite cold because air conditioners shoot out streams of freezing air (setting it below 70 could actually cause your AC system to freeze).

The U.S. Department of Energy recommends setting your AC thermostat at 78 degrees, although somewhere between 74 and 78 might be best for you. You can decrease humidity by using a dehumidifier and use ceiling fans to circulate that chilled air.

Comments

[liv]

Woah, talk about a non-answer, Amy! LW didn't ask what the recommended AC temperature range is, he asked how to find an equitable way to deal with incompatible living environment preferences!

[jadelennox]

yeah, wtf! how does that help either of them?

[lemonsharks]

Sooo...

Any body temperature regulation disorders notwithstanding: it's easier to warm up than cool off.

It's not specifically mentioned in the letter, but if LW's boyfriend has any inkling of my house/my rules, he needs to let them go immediately.

I'd recommend getting a window unit for a room or two (whichever rooms LW uses most) for "just warm" days and lowering the threshold for running the central air. (So, if the threshold is currently 100°+ to run the central air, lower it 90°+)

I'm also the kind of person who's happiest if it's cold, even if I'm sometimes cold, so I'm very biased in favor of the LW.

[ioplokon]

I think the issue with just running it colder and bundling up comes when you go outside. If you're not already adapted to the heat, it feels hotter (and you're somewhat more at risk for heat-related illness though, of course, having no break at all from the heat is worse).

I think you have to come up with a compromise somehow. One thing would be to have a closed door+open window situation away from the thermostat, so you could run the AC and have at least one room be comfortable.

[melannen]

Yeah, I've really noticed this working in a building with iffy a/c - I don't use A/C at home, and my concept of a tolerable building temp really shifts over the course of the summer compared to my coworkers who go home to A/C - we tend to agree in April and strongly disagree by August.

Meanwhile for someone who prefers warm temps, being freezing indoors all summer can be more than just "put on a sweater" - moving from overdone A/C to summer outdoor weather is a headache trigger for me, for example (Also it sucks to always have to bundle up all year! I like summer clothes and warm breeze on skin.)

Keeping different rooms different temps like you said may be the best compromise - in many houses you can do this just by closing doors and vents and opening curtains.

[ioplokon]

I believe closing vents can be problematic for some HVAC systems? Ideally, they could have planned this before installing the AC...

[melannen]

Could be! We do it in winter with the central heat no prob, but that may be different.

Yeah couples/roomies of my acquaintance have mostly solved this via "don't have central air" but that ship has sailed for LW i guess. (I bet he wouldn't want to live without central air anyway though - sounds like that was part of the negotiations for moving in together in the first place.)

[minoanmiss]

Water guns at ten paces!

[topaz_eyes]

What is LW's preferred temperature compared to his partner's, and is it reasonable? If LW's partner prefers it around 74-78 degrees F (23-25 C), it makes a difference if LW favours indoor temps around 62-65 F (16-18 C), compared to say 68-72 F (20-22 C). I wonder if LW may prefer the former, given that he thinks his partner should "throw on a flannel shirt and a pair of sweatpants" indoors in July.

Does the partner have medical conditions that make him more susceptible to cold intolerance? Otherwise, they really need to talk about this, and see if they can negotiate a compromise setting.

[julian]

What a non-answer *that* was.

I figure, warmer than LW would like, cooler than Partner would like. Or, yes, have a room or two that's cooler, and a few warmer. Mostly, talk about it like adults, rather than LW saying he feels "a bit petty" and thus discounting himself and his feelings about it.

[redbird]

Yeah, that's not an answer at all.

I have sufficiently weird temperature/thermoregulation stuff that I run the air conditioning in at least part of the apartment most of the summer, and I also frequently walk around the house in my underwear, or in underpants and a t-shirt but no pants, not even shorts.

I agree with julian that the letter writer shouldn't be discounting his own feelings, but he doesn't seem to be paying much attention to his partner's dignity, or lack thereof, in wearing sweatpants and a flannel shirt inside when the outside temperature is 85 or even 75, and having to stop and change before going outside.

This is one that has various sorts of technological solutions, ranging from keeping different rooms at different temperatures, to the LW sleeping under just a sheet while his partner has a blanked on his half of the bed, but if it was that simple he wouldn't have bothered writing in. And he really isn't looking for advice on the most economical way for them to each be uncomfortable part of the year.

[lemonsharks]

I can state from experience that "everyone in the bed has their own blankets" is LIFE-CHANGING.

[green_grrl]

Wow. Your paper did a supremely shitty job of editing. The WaPo version has another two paragraphs at the end of Amy’s advice:

But let’s just stipulate that you and he have radically different body temperature needs. Ideally, you should shoot for him wearing a long-sleeve T-shirt and trousers and you a short-sleeve T-shirt and shorts.

Otherwise, yes, I agree with you (and my sister) that it is easier to warm up with extra clothing than to cool down by shedding it.

Still wasn’t the best answer in the world—it’s missing the option of different temps in different rooms—but it’s miles better than just DoE stats.

[jadelennox]

oh wow. That changes everything. It's still a pointless digression and not what was asked, but at least she answered.

[mommy]

That comes much closer to being a useful answer, yes.

[naath]

I think the answer has to be having per room temperature management, and being mainly in different rooms.

Heat makes me ill(er) (MS is aggravated by heat) but I hate the cold so much, and the noise of AC even more... (but I'm in England, It's... 20 something out there right now)

[lemonsharks]

yeah, this is the kind of problem that a smart thermostat was made to solve.