lemonsharks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2021-06-21 07:47 am
lemonsharks) wrote in agonyaunt2021-06-21 07:47 am
Dear Abby: you don't have to spend time with people are deliberately and maliciously cruel to you
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 40 years. My beloved mother-in-law passed away two years ago. She had always been my “buffer” against the rest of my husband’s family — two brothers and their families and his stepfather, none of whom care for me. When we would visit from out of state, I could be sure that, by my MIL’s side, I would be comfortable and loved, while my husband hung out with his brothers and nieces.
After she passed, some things happened that hurt me, and I must now decide whether to accompany my husband when he goes to visit. I know if I do, I’ll be left alone and isolated on a couch while the rest of them socialize elsewhere, and I dread the thought. My husband doesn’t seem to understand how much I am fearing this. Please advise. -- MISSING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW
DEAR MISSING: Unless your husband is an ostrich with his head in the ground, surely he must have noticed how his siblings and their families have treated you for the last 40 years. If it has escaped him, give him chapter and verse! No law says you “must” accompany him on these visits, and frankly, I see no reason why you shouldn’t plan some pleasant activities for yourself in his absence. Try it. You may find you like it.
After she passed, some things happened that hurt me, and I must now decide whether to accompany my husband when he goes to visit. I know if I do, I’ll be left alone and isolated on a couch while the rest of them socialize elsewhere, and I dread the thought. My husband doesn’t seem to understand how much I am fearing this. Please advise. -- MISSING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW
DEAR MISSING: Unless your husband is an ostrich with his head in the ground, surely he must have noticed how his siblings and their families have treated you for the last 40 years. If it has escaped him, give him chapter and verse! No law says you “must” accompany him on these visits, and frankly, I see no reason why you shouldn’t plan some pleasant activities for yourself in his absence. Try it. You may find you like it.